The Glorious Freedom of the 'N-Word'
They took them from us, the employee handbook, it and a bunch of stupid laws about harassment and hostile workplaces.
They took the words, all the good words, all the words that let you know who the hell was in charge, which was white people, and in charge of white people were white men.
The women got to 'em, or the Blacks, or a buncha guys who like Broadway musicals a little too much, if you know what I mean.
But we're pushing back. We want all the words back just like we want the statue of Gen. Confederation T. Slavewhipper back on the courthouse lawn.
We couldn't go right straight at what we wanted because the other side had all the Dershowitzes on their side, if you know what I mean.
So, "libtard" is the foot in the door, as the old-timers used to say.
The original word with "tard" on the end referred to people with special needs, and you're not supposed to say it anymore because this is supposed to be a better country than it was in 1952.
But libtard was a great first push because it wasn't that old, original cruel word that we were supposed to outgrow as more Americans started to finish high school.
But we squeaked libtard in there like an extra ace in the deck, and the word crawled, then it toddled, and now it walks proudly on Facebook and other places, letting everyone know that being a liberal is just like being special needs, and that special needs is such a ridiculous thing to be that it deserves a dismissive, snarly nickname.
But libtard made it, and if you read enough online swill, you'll see that "tard" with the "re" in the front is likewise learning to walk all over again.
We're gonna get a lot of English words back if this trend keeps moving forward.
What an orgasmic tingle it must have been to say or type "libtard" for the first time. It gave you the same buzz you got the first time you swore in front of your mother.
The long climb down into the pit of English will give us back every vile, filthy, dismissive term white males ever used for anyone who wasn't white and straight and, on that day, bells will ring and the banners of a crusade won will snap in the wind, and we'll be able to call 'em "broads" again, just like Jesus did when he was hanging out with that slut Mary Magdalene.
Down at the bottom of the pit, in chains but yearning to run free in talk and print, there is what college-educated people piously call the "n-word."
We'll work our way back through insulting words for Jews, Hispanics, women and people with various mental and physical conditions, until we dig up the surprisingly strong corpse of the n-word, covered with old whip scars but still able to dance happily through jokes about watermelon.
"But Black people can use that word," the white whine goes. "They even call each other that."
Sure, and you call your kid brother "moron," but you'll punch anyone else who does.
It's like that.
Doesn't matter. Words like libtard are carrying the flag and the shovel. The flag is planted and our tongues shovel down to get at the words that can't be said. Giving up that word was like Lee surrendering; we had to accept the surrender, but we never forgot. We want it back even more than we want "Wetback" or "Christ killer" back.
We're going to need all the words if we're going to push America into a bright, strong future of the past.
To find out more about Marc Dion and read features by Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's lates book, a collection of his best columns, is called "Mean Old Liberal." It is available in paperback from Amazon.com, and for Nook, Kindle, and iBooks.





















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