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It seems like everyone wants to be a social media influencer these days. Researcher Matthew Simoneau surveyed middle and high school students from 2021 to 2024 and more than 60% of them said they wanted to be social media influencers. People think fame and fortune will make them happy. But it's not viral significance that we need. What we really need is to feel significant to someone.

Arthur C. Brooks is the author of the book "The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness," and he says fame is actually one of the hardest circumstances for humans to be happy in. We don't need everyone's attention; we need a specific person's loving attention. Humans need to know that they matter.

When I heard Brooks speak about the role of significance in our personal happiness, I instantly thought of the phrase "significant other," and now I love the term even more. Referring to my husband as my significant other will now always remind me that I am significant to him and he is to me. We matter to each other.

Susan Sarandon's character in the movie "Shall We Dance?" says it this way: "We need a witness to our lives." Maybe this is what drives people to social media, the desire to be seen. I agree it is fun to share life's highlights as well as the issues that matter to me, but that's not when I feel truly seen. I feel seen when I go beyond the screen.

I feel seen when I am trusted to sit with my sister or best friend and share in their lives. I feel significant when my husband holds my hand. Relationships require vulnerability, and that can't be captured in viral moments. We need hard conversations and real moments of connection with the people we love. We need quality time.

Our significant others are not limited to spouses and romance. We find significance in our friends, in a parent, a child or a mentor. You can have more than one significant person in your life, but you must have at least one. You need someone who sees you, loves you for who you are and someone you trust in your most insecure moments.

It's a hard world ,and we have to know who is on our side as our ride or die.

Starting in 1955, developmental psychologists Emmy Werner and Ruth Smith tracked 698 children over 40 years. One-third of these children were deemed "high-risk" because they faced severe childhood adversities, including chronic poverty, family discord and parental mental illness or alcoholism.

Even still, one-third of those high-risk children grew up to be competent, confident and caring adults. What made the difference? The researchers found that every resilient child had at least one stable, supportive and caring person they could rely on. They had a person who made them feel that they mattered. Someone who made them feel significant. That's how powerful it is to feel seen and supported.

Take note of the people in your life who do this for you. The ones bearing witness to your life. Then be that person for someone else. Let your significant others know they matter to you. We don't get through this life by getting attention from as many people as possible. We get through it thanks to the significance of our everyday relationships.

Do you know anyone who's doing cool things to make the world a better place? I want to know. Send me an email at Bonnie@WriterBonnie.com. Also, stay in the loop by signing up for her weekly newsletter at WriterBonnie.com. To find out more about Bonnie Jean Feldkamp and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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