Son Has Issues Around Eating
DEAR HARRIETTE: My son hides his food intake, and he's been this way for years. I'm not sure if it stems from him feeling like we used to baby him, but he hates when we offer him food, tell him to pack a to-go plate when he's leaving our place or announce that the food is ready. He won't eat when we tell him to, but once everyone is gone, he'll come around and eat hefty portions. We used to poke fun at how much food he'd take until we realized it was a sore spot for him. This all started with his vegan phase in his late teens, which was around the time when my steaks and bacon would disappear overnight. He's grown up now and still lies or sneaks around about food. He'll even go as far as making fun of his dad for eating too much when he indulges a second serving, even though we all know my son will be back later to do the same. My son is not and hasn't ever been overweight, so I can't, for the life of me, figure out why he does this. And, as you can see, it's not his favorite topic of conversation. Any advice? -- Secret Eater
DEAR SECRET EATER: Select a time that you two are together and it's not near a meal. Tell your son you have a sensitive topic you want to discuss with him. Ask for his blessing to proceed, and then be direct with him. Point out that you have noticed that he has an unusual relationship with food, at least around the family. Describe what you have observed, and ask if you or the family has done something to make him feel ashamed about his eating. Inquire as to why he feels uncomfortable with the topic of food, at least around you. See if he will open up. It sounds like your son would benefit from speaking with a therapist about his food issues.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom shared with my family that other students are bullying me because I am "different." That is not the case. These classmates make fun of me because I am gay. But honestly, this is not new to me. For a long time, people have struggled to simply accept me and my sexuality -- including my mom. What bothers me more than two small-minded classmates is a mom who's too afraid to be transparent with her own family members about what I am actually struggling with. My mom accepts me, in a sense, but she doesn't like admitting that I'm queer and definitely doesn't share it with others. It feels like my truth is an embarrassment to her. How can she worry about students mistreating me when she won't even face reality? -- Stuck in the Closet
DEAR STUCK IN THE CLOSET: Maybe this is the doorway into the real conversation. If she finds it hard to talk about your sexuality, frame it from the perspective of your classmates, for starters. Talk about who you are and how you love and that it can be stressful to have people judge you. Tell her that your classmates don't bother you that much, but that in truth, what matters more to you is being accepted by your family.
Tell her you know it's hard for her and that she doesn't yet feel comfortable talking about it. Share that it would make you happiest if she could come to a place of comfort about who you are and be willing to say as much to others.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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