Woman Wants To Cut Ties With Professional Acquaintance
DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I break off a friendship that I recently made? I am in the same professional networking organization with a woman, and we attend its monthly events together. I have found her to be combative and rude, and I don't want to have to deal with it anymore.
The final straw was when I invited her to a white party my friend was hosting. This woman didn't have anything to wear, and we aren't the same size, so I couldn't lend her anything. She didn't want to spend money on new clothes, so she tried to wear colorful clothes -- to a white party! She went as far as trying to negotiate with me on what colors she could wear. This was frustrating because I told her I wasn't the one hosting the party and it wasn't my call to make. She ended up going to the party in a gray outfit and embarrassed me because everyone else was in bright white.
I feel like her behavior reflects poorly on me, especially in spaces where I'm trying to build professional relationships. How can I distance myself without creating unnecessary tension in a shared professional environment? -- Not Aligned
DEAR NOT ALIGNED: Stop inviting this woman to events with you. When you see her, remain cordial and respectful, but keep your distance. She doesn't seem to understand at least some rules of decorum. Clearly, she's not listening to you so that she can learn. Stop trying to take on the role of teacher. You are not responsible for her.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Being a good friend is something I take great joy in. I personally believe a good friend is supportive, understanding and invested in your well-being. I try not to be judgmental, and keep my friendships as a safe place for all involved. I recently hosted a friend get-together and introduced some people for the first time. One of my friends is a true jokester, which did not resonate well with another friend. I know that she jokes in good faith, but that doesn't translate to everyone. I don't want to invalidate my other friend's feelings, while I also don't want to create an awkward environment for the jokester. After a while, my friend picked up on the other friend's energy and apologized. I'm hoping that's enough to settle the issue; however, I want to make sure feelings don't fester. Should I just leave it alone? -- Jokester
DEAR JOKESTER: When introducing people, it can be helpful to give a bit of a backstory about them, including what their personalities are like. You could have alerted the group that one friend loves to joke while another may be more thoughtful and another sensitive. At that same time, you could point out topics that excite each of them and any points of synergy between them. That way people have a sense of who they are meeting.
Regarding these two, check in with your friends to see how they are doing and if they enjoyed meeting the group. If either brings up the discomfort, ease into a conversation about it and do your best to celebrate what you like about each of them.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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