Mom Relies On Kid For Everything
DEAR HARRIETTE: I love my mom, but she treats every little thing like an emergency, and it's starting to wear on me. Whether she needs help changing her phone settings, opening a jar, finding a contact or even choosing a dress for an event that is months away, everything is urgent to her. She'll ask me something repeatedly (even when I've already told her I'll get it done), wake me up or interrupt whatever I'm doing just to get immediate help -- or sometimes just to show me something she finds funny.
I know she doesn't mean any harm, but living in a constant state of "drop everything" for small requests is making me feel anxious and on edge. I never quite know when I'll be able to fully relax or have uninterrupted time. How do I set boundaries with her without hurting her feelings? I want to be there for her, but I also need some peace and predictability in my own life. I live with my parents as an adult, which is usually good, but it comes with issues around boundaries. -- Helping Mom
DEAR HELPING MOM: This is tricky. On one hand, you want to be there for you mom whenever she truly needs you. You also never want to disrespect her by ignoring a request. At the same time, you don't want to worry about everything and have a heightened sense of urgency every time you engage her.
Living with her may feel like a blessing and a curse. Your presence tells her that you are there to help her for tasks large or small. For you, it translates into no boundaries. Depending on your mother's age and capabilities, this behavior may be the new norm for her. What you can do is gently -- but firmly -- tell her that while you always want to help her, sometimes her urgent requests (that don't seem urgent) worry you.
In response to her in the moment, you can ask if the task needs to be handled immediately or if it can wait. That may clue her in and help recalibrate urgency.
DEAR HARRIETTE: While on a recent styling shoot, I noticed the male model and thought he was cute. As we worked, we had good conversations and found out we had some similarities. At this point, I felt like my feelings were reciprocated. He seems emotionally mature and open minded, two things I look for in a partner. We are both creatives with interest in community, but, most of all, I felt comfortable around him, which isn't common for me. When we were done, he asked for my Instagram account; however, I haven't heard from him since. I've been checking his Instagram almost every day, but I haven't made the leap to reaching out. I'm awkward about these things. How should I slide into his DMs? -- Model Man
DEAR MODEL MAN: Rather than wondering about whether the guy was interested in you, take the first step. Just write to him. Remind him that you met on the shoot, and say something simple but specific about the job that might get him to start talking.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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