Political Beliefs Put Wedge In Friendship
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently discovered that a new friend of mine has a different political opinion than I do. Since then, I have stopped reaching out and asking to hang out. The other day, she confronted me to ask why I've been distant. I gave her the honest truth: my morals, ethics and beliefs in equality and human rights prevent me from being her friend. She became extremely angry, saying she thought that I was different from this and proceeded to call me childish. I need to remain cordial with her due to being in the workspace; however, I have no desire to be her friend. Do you think I could've handled this situation better, and do you think I'm behaving immaturely for not wanting to be her friend based on varying political opinions? -- Other Side of the Aisle
DEAR OTHER SIDE OF THE AISLE: It's wise to be strategic in all things. Since this woman works with you, you could have been less blunt without being dishonest, but what's done is done. If you feel inclined to say anything to her, you can apologize for hurting her feelings as that was not your intention. From there, just be professional. In general, it's best to keep your political views to yourself at work.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently read an article called "7 Ways to Know Your Boyfriend Wants a Mother, Not a Partner." By the end of the article, I was scared for my relationship -- my first serious one. We met right after college and have been together for about four years. I wasn't exactly in tune with what adult boyfriends view as romance or expect from their partners. When we first started dating and he'd ask me to help him with everything -- like picking out his suits for work or running errands with his mom -- or do things for him -- like serve his food when we ordered shared entrees at a restaurant or find his flights for a guys' trip -- it felt like he trusted me or like he wanted me involved in every part of his life. In the past year, though, it's been feeling less like inclusion and more like a second job for me. The article I read explicitly mentioned men treating their partners like an assistant as an immediate red flag. Unfortunately, it took me a while to catch on. Do you think these are behaviors I can help my partner step away from? Or should I run away as fast as I can? -- Another Mother
DEAR ANOTHER MOTHER: Let the article be a wake-up call for the quality of your relationship. What do you want? If you are OK with taking the lead in all those ways, fine. If not, you will need to change the way you engage each other. You both have grown accustomed to certain expectations. You can't blame it on him; it's on both of you. But if you want something different, tell him and work together to make that happen.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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