When 'thanks' Doesn't Seem Like Enough
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do you thank people for their support after a devastating fire destroys your home?
We just had a grease fire in our propane grill. I did what I always do: I turned the burners off and shut the propane tank valve, then closed the lid and waited for it to go out.
Well, this time it didn't go out. Instead, it burned through to the area where the propane tank is stored.
We evacuated immediately -- no shoes on our feet, no ID, nothing but the clothes on our bodies. Somehow I grabbed my cellphone, or we'd be even more lost. We picked up the dogs and cat and ran outside. Thank G-d we were all safe and uninjured.
The outpouring of support from our neighbors and local community is overwhelming. In these times, it is a comfort to know that people are still good, and there for you when you least expect it.
My wife and I are trying to figure out how we can possibly thank the hundreds, if not thousands, of people who have expressed their support physically, emotionally and financially after this tragedy.
One final PSA, if I may, please: If you have a fire in your gas grill, don't wait for it to go out. Go get the fire extinguisher as quickly as you can and put it out ASAP.
GENTLE READER: Noted.
Write back to as many of these kind people as possible, expressing your thanks and adding a small present (flowers, etc.) to anyone who took you in for an extended stay. Speak of it widely, in hopes that this gets back to everyone who showed support.
And then resolve, as Miss Manners has no doubt you already have, to show the same kindness to anyone who endures a similar calamity. Sadly, it seems that lately there are ample opportunities.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am writing regarding our mahjong's group's policy on health and attendance. Lately, there have been several instances where players have asked if they should attend while experiencing symptoms of illness.
While I appreciate the offer to wear a mask, I want to be clear about my personal boundary: I do not feel comfortable playing in person with anyone who is unwell, regardless of the precautions taken.
Since this situation comes up frequently, I would like to establish a standard that if someone is feeling under the weather, they should stay home until they are healthy. This helps ensure that the game remains a comfortable environment for everyone.
I value our time together and want to make sure we can all enjoy our games without any added concern. How do I articulate this?
GENTLE READER: Say it when everyone is healthy. "Flu/cold/allergy season is coming up, and I want to make sure that we all stay as healthy as possible. Let us agree that if we are not feeling well, we will stay home and take care of ourselves."
Miss Manners recommends you disinfect those tiles anyway, just in case.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026 Judith Martin
COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN
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