Facial Scarring Leaves Reader Uncomfortable
DEAR HARRIETTE: I got into a car crash eight months ago, and it has left my face permanently scarred. I am still not used to the way my face looks, and I'm extremely insecure. I can tell my husband isn't as attracted to me as he used to be, and my toddler looks at me like I am Frankenstein's monster.
I want to find ways to be more confident, but it hasn't been working. I used to love getting dressed up and going out with my husband, but now I find myself avoiding social situations because I don't want people staring at me. I rarely take pictures anymore because I don't recognize myself when I look at them. My husband tells me he still loves me, but I can't help but feel like something has changed between us since the accident.
I also worry that my toddler's reactions mean my child is scared of me or doesn't recognize me anymore. Some days I feel like I am constantly comparing my face now to the way it looked before the crash. I have tried telling myself that my scars are a reminder that I survived, but that mindset has been difficult to maintain. I know I should focus on healing emotionally, but I don't know how to stop feeling embarrassed about my appearance. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin again and be present for my family without constantly worrying about how they see me. How can I feel like the old me again? -- Deformed
DEAR DEFORMED: First, I am so sorry that you experienced such a serious accident. While it is a blessing for you to have survived, your scars are real and clearly emotionally impactful. I have a couple of recommendations. First, speak to your doctor about plastic surgery. Find out whether it is possible to do any facial reconstruction to restore your face to its previous state. You should also get a therapist who can work with you to find peace at this stage in your life. You have been through a lot. You look different, and people are reacting to you in different ways. Learn how to accept and love the new you -- the brave person who survived the terrible accident.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I need to lose weight. I recently spoke to my doctor about going on one of those GLP-1 regimens. But when I told my daughter, she pointed out I don't eat that much. She said what GLP-1s do is reduce your desire to eat. Since I don't eat a lot anyway, it's probably not my solution. Whatever. I just want to lose weight. My work is very sedentary. I don't move much, but I need to get healthier. What should I do? -- Need to Lose
DEAR NEED TO LOSE: While you can get GLP-1 meds online now without a prescription, I would advise against that. Go to a weight-loss clinic and get evaluated. Share all your medical history with the doctors, and work together to discover a viable solution to reach a healthy weight.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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