Man Wonders How To Introduce Boyfriend To Parents
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a gay man who's been in a relationship for two and a half years. My partner is definitely a great match for me. He recently asked to meet my parents, expressing his desire to get to know my family and roots a little more. I appreciate his interest in my background, as I think it indicates that we are moving onto the next step in our relationship. However, I never told him that my parents don't know I'm gay. I came out after I graduated college and moved out of my hometown, so the conversation about my sexuality never really came up when I was home. My family still asks me when I'm going to bring a nice girl home, and I just brush it off. Now that my boyfriend wants to meet them, I am not sure what to do. Should I have a conversation before they meet him, or should I break the news once we get there? -- Coming Out
DEAR COMING OUT: Start with your boyfriend. Let him know that you are still in the closet with your family. Next, you must tell your parents that you are gay before springing your boyfriend on them -- it wouldn't be fair to anyone to do both at the same time. Maybe your partner can draw on his own experiences to help you figure out a strategy for this conversation. Out of respect for your parents, give them a chance to take in the news before introducing your boyfriend. While telling them may be difficult, the good news is that you have a partner to lean on if it gets rocky.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm struggling with a colleague I'm closely partnered with on several projects. His work habits are inconsistent at best, and his lack of follow-through directly affects my ability to do my job well. I've tried addressing it respectfully, but whenever I bring up specific issues, he shuts down the conversation and says he doesn't like to dwell on "the past." Instead, he pivots to what we can do moving forward -- without really acknowledging that he alone created these problems. I want to maintain a positive working relationship, but it's frustrating to feel like I'm carrying the weight of his professional shortcomings while also not being heard. I don't want to escalate things unnecessarily, but I also don't see improvement. How can I hold this person accountable in a productive way without damaging our partnership? -- Feeling Undermined
DEAR FEELING UNDERMINED: Schedule a formal time to meet with your colleague. Tell him you need to address some work concerns. When he deflects, don't give in. Make it clear that you need him to pull his weight and do his job and that he often slacks. Provide clear examples of what you mean, including what he has or has not done that impacted the bottom line. Add what you need him to do moving forward. Assure him you want to work with him and know that he can do his part. But also, if he continues to dodge responsibility, talk to your manager. You should not have to shoulder the responsibility of this co-worker. Each of you has things to do. He should do his part.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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