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Sibling Worried Brother Will Flake On New Job

Harriette Cole on

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother is moving to rural Vietnam for a year to teach English, and I don't think this is a good idea. My brother can't stick to any commitment to save his life, and this experience doesn't seem like it is likely to go any differently. He gets excited about new opportunities all the time, but once the excitement wears off, he usually quits and moves on to something else. He's switched jobs multiple times over the past few years and has even abandoned hobbies and volunteer commitments after only a few weeks. I'm also worried because this isn't just a new job in the next town over -- he's moving halfway across the world to a place where he doesn't know anyone. He doesn't speak Vietnamese, has never lived outside of the country and doesn't seem to fully understand how different life will be in a rural area compared to what he's used to. Our parents think this experience will help him mature and become more responsible, but I'm worried that he'll get there, realize he hates it and come home early and leave the school in a difficult position. Should I say something or should I just leave my brother be and have more faith in him? -- Uncommitted

DEAR UNCOMMITTED: Your brother is putting himself in a situation that will be hard to leave. Good for him. Be supportive. Remind him that it is a very different place from home and he should put his all into it. Offer to be a sounding board for him if he gets skittish. Be a cheerleader. Your parents are right: There is a chance that this will be the kick in the pants he needs and may begin a positive transformation. If not, he will have to suffer the consequences.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am someone who considers herself to be very stylish. I have a dramatic sense of fashion, favoring bold colors and chunky jewelry. I am the type to show up in both pastel and neon at the same time. Style has always been a way that I have expressed my vibrant personality, and it brings a little bit of fun into my day. This works well when you are younger; however, as I start a corporate internship, I'm wondering how I can bring that sense of style into a traditional office setting. I don't want to do away with my sense of style completely, as it is a part of who I am, but I understand it may need to change to fit the venue. How do you recommend I show my style while staying within a businesslike dress code? -- Office Style

DEAR OFFICE STYLE: Start understated. Look around and read the corporate culture. How do people dress there? Look in the company handbook to see if there are wardrobe guidelines, but even more, open your eyes and notice how people dress. With that in mind, start with a basic corporate outfit, which may be a suit or blouse, cardigan and skirt or pants. Consider adding one element to that basic corporate look, like a chunky necklace or a colorful top -- not everything at once. This, by the way, does not mean you are selling out. It's all about strategy. You don't want your wardrobe to impede your success. Find subtle ways to introduce your style while keeping in mind that your job does not need to be the place where your personal style leads.

 

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole


COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.

 

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