Rebellious Sister Is Lashing Out
DEAR HARRIETTE: I think my sister hates me. I'm in college right now, and my sister just finished her freshman year of high school. When I was away from home, she made new friends and started getting into trouble. A few months ago, she ran out of a gas station with a case of alcohol and was chased by the police. Luckily, the cops felt bad because of how young she was and called my mom instead of arresting her. I told my sister I was disappointed in her and told her I thought she was making dumb choices. She was furious with me for not "minding my own business," especially since I "abandoned my family to go to college." I know that she's growing and going through an adjustment time, but that last comment really hurt my feelings. Do you think she actually hates me, or should I just give her room to make mistakes and learn from them? -- Sister Drama
DEAR SISTER DRAMA: Your sister doesn't hate you; she feels abandoned. While going to college was a natural next step for you, for her it meant you left her. Whatever stability, camaraderie, friendship and guidance you offered left when you walked out the door. What you may want to do, especially since she is struggling so much, is to stay in closer touch with her. Call her weekly. FaceTime with her and get to know a bit about her life as you tell her things about yours. See whether it's possible for her to visit you at college. If she feels connected to you and like you care, she may be inspired to make smarter choices.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents got divorced when I was 10 years old. I don't really remember them being together, as even then they always argued. Now that I'm a teenager, there are a lot of milestones they would both like to attend, like my prom. I love both of them and want to see them there for me on my most special days; however, there's a big issue. To this day, they cannot be in the same room without getting into a huge bickering match. This is not only embarrassing, it puts a damper on my mood. It is unfortunate that they cannot see how their own emotions impact my ability to enjoy my special moments. I am not trying to play relationship counselor on a day where I'm supposed to be the star. Do you think I should invite them to my prom send-off? -- Divorced Parents
DEAR DIVORCED PARENTS: Do you think you can talk to them directly about this? Speak to each one individually and explain your predicament. You love them both and want them to share in your special experiences in life, including your upcoming prom. Thinking ahead, you are worried because you have seen how they behave when they are in the same room. Tell them that their behavior is embarrassing and unacceptable. Yes, really say it. Ask if they think they can behave the entire time they are together; otherwise, they'll need to stay home. Say that to each of them. See if either shows up. If they do come, make sure they stay separated. See what happens. If either misbehaves, ask them to leave.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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