Friend Gets Upset About Call For Advice
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in media and communications, and I was recently offered a role as a media and communications professor. Teaching has always been something I've wanted to do, so I was excited. Just a week before I got the offer, I had a conversation with a friend of mine who has been teaching at the collegiate level for some time. I told her that I was interested in adjunct work, but I didn't know where to start. She said I can always come to her for advice. I said I didn't want to take advantage of her expertise, and she insisted that I lean on her. So when I got the offer, I called her right away to share the news and asked if she had any guidance. Instead of celebrating with me, she responded, "I'm glad to see you call me when you need something." I was so confused, so I reminded her of our recent conversation. She tried to explain what she meant, but she didn't apologize. I am very careful about using friends or always making requests, so I don't appreciate her insinuating otherwise. Now, I'm left feeling offended. Should I address this again? -- Mean What You Say
DEAR MEAN WHAT YOU SAY: For your peace of mind, tell her you are flabbergasted by her reaction to your call that she encouraged. Tell her you were offended by her doubling down, and ask her to tell you what was in her head as you don't understand. Listen and discover if there was something else going on that triggered her.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband cheated on me two years ago and we stayed together, but I still can't get fully past it. Every time an argument happens between us, I am always bringing up his infidelity. I hurl insults at him about it, and I really don't like who I become when I bring up this difficult time in our marriage. I don't know how to fully forgive him. Sometimes I think that it might be necessary to end our 15-year marriage because I just can't forgive him.
The woman my husband cheated with admitted to me that she was in love with him and they had been seeing each other for a whole year. I feel like I have become a different person. Even during moments when things between us seem good, there is always a part of me waiting for the other shoe to drop. I question things that I never used to question, and I hate living with this level of suspicion and insecurity. My husband has apologized many times and insists that he wants our marriage to work, but I still feel deeply hurt and humiliated by what happened. Do you think that I am forcing myself to make a marriage work that is way beyond repair? -- Cheater
DEAR CHEATER: Can 15 years be stronger than one year of infidelity? Only you two can decide. Consider going to couples counseling to talk through what happened, what it meant and how to move forward. See if you can forgive him. If not, cut your ties. Sometimes this type of violation leaves an irreparable scar.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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