Daughter Cannot Manage To Finish Degree
DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is struggling to complete college. She has been in her undergraduate program now for six years and she will need a seventh before she graduates. She is majoring in mechanical engineering with a minor in data science. I told her when I heard that this was her major and minor that it may be difficult to graduate on time, and she replied with the fact that she's smart, so she'll be fine.
Now, six years later, she's crying about how difficult it is to finish her schooling. As her parent, it is painful to watch because I can tell she feels embarrassed and ashamed that it is taking her this long to graduate. Many of her friends have already finished school, started careers and moved on with their lives while she still feels stuck in the same cycle of classes and deadlines. I remind her that everyone's path is different and that engineering is not an easy degree, but I do think part of her frustration comes from refusing to scale back when she had opportunities to do so earlier. Financially, this has also been difficult on our family. Additional years of tuition, housing and school expenses have added up. How can I support my daughter emotionally while also encouraging her to make realistic decisions about her future and workload? -- Unfinished
DEAR UNFINISHED: Talk to your daughter about her future. What career does she want? Does she need both her major and minor to get that job? Has she had internships or other jobs in her field to help her get to what's next? Gently push her to think strategically about her future. Is there a job she can get now without receiving the degree?
This will be a tough conversation, but you must tell her she has to help pay for her education. She can possibly get financial aid or a loan. This is now her responsibility, and she needs to accept it. You should not be left with the burden of paying for seven years of college.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am now officially single after being in a relationship for seven years. It was a difficult ending -- it was both of our first relationships. As time went on, we grew apart and stopped sharing the interests that initially sparked our connection. While trying to salvage what we had, emotions ran high and we ended up hurting each other. Now I'm out of that situation, but I'm finding it hard to move on and build a connection with anyone else. Starting from scratch, especially in this new area of dating, feels almost pointless being that I already found and lost who I thought was the one. I'm trying to stay positive; however, I find myself wanting to go back to what I know, even if it doesn't make me happy. How would you recommend I welcome new experiences instead of wanting what I'm used to? -- New Love
DEAR NEW LOVE: There's nothing like your first love. Treasure what you gained from that as you tell yourself you deserve to have a partner who will love and support you as you do the same for them. Put yourself out there. Go to events and activities where single people gather. Do not stay home. Open your eyes and look for someone who may seem interesting. If you use dating apps, be sure to state what you want to weed out people who do not share your values.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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