Minor Squabbles Lead To Major Crossroads
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are experiencing a rough patch. At least, that's what I thought it was. I am going through an extremely important moment in my career and education, and it feels like my husband hasn't been supportive. As I was preparing to present my dissertation, he seemed increasingly agitated -- picking small fights about dinner, or laundry, or finances -- all things we truly never argue about. I was surprised, so I asked if he could give me some space until I'm over this hurdle. I just needed peace to complete my study; I am so close to the finish line. He was reluctant, but he agreed to stay at a hotel for a week. It felt good at first, until the week was nearly up and his mother called to yell at me. Apparently, he told her that he thinks we're getting a divorce. This feels like a major betrayal over some minor disputes. Honestly, it feels more manipulative than real. Why would my husband say something so extreme to his mother before even trying to talk to me? -- Feeling Betrayed
DEAR FEELING BETRAYED: You are in an extremely stressful position. Defending a dissertation is high stakes, and it sounds like this pivotal moment has impacted your marriage in more ways than you know. Asking your husband to move out for a week is intense. It's understandable that he might think you were kicking him out -- because you did, even if it was temporary in your mind.
Finish your dissertation and then pivot to your husband. Sit down with him and ask what's going on with him. Let him know you felt let down when you needed his support at the finish line, and he made it difficult for you to concentrate. Discuss how you can move forward together with shared goals.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has come to me and asked for a large sum of money to help support his pursuit of stock investing and trading. I want to support him as he's been talking to me about this interest for years. He tells me that he's gotten better over the years, but if that's true, why would he need such a large sum from someone else in order to keep growing? It's safe to say I don't fully trust him and his money management skills. Over the years, I've dabbled in investing on my own, and as I had more to manage, I made the decision to hire a certified financial planner. I want to support my son's interest, but I also don't want him to take money for granted. Trading is a gamble. I want him to understand that before I give him anything or say yay or nay. What is a reasonable happy medium if I want to help steer him toward more financial responsibility without saying no completely? -- Funding Dreams
DEAR FUNDING DREAMS: Give your son a meeting with a financial planner, either yours or someone else you find. Sit down with them to talk strategy. Your presence is important because he wants you to be an investor in his venture. Tell him you want to help, but you need to get a sense of where he is going before you invest.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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