ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I confided in someone I thought was a close friend about some pain points and concerns I experience with my brother. This was hard for me to do because I prefer not to discuss family matters with other people, but I guess I was feeling overwhelmed and really needed to vent in the moment. I thought I was in a safe space when I shared the sensitive things that have been going on with my family -- boy, was I wrong.

A few days after venting, my friend started sending me memes and jokes mocking scenarios similar to what I described about my brother. I donÕt think I should have to give disclaimers when I choose to be vulnerable with close friends. IÕd think it was a no-brainer not to poke fun at something I was clearly upset about. Am I overreacting, or should I have a conversation with my friend about how disappointed I am in her making light of things that are so personal to me? -- Being Mocked

DEAR BEING MOCKED: Speak to your friend about how she chose to react to the sensitive information you shared with her. Ask her to stop at once, and tell her how disappointed and surprised you are that this is what she thought was appropriate or kind to do after talking to you.

Bigger than this, though, you must rethink what you share with whom. It is essential for you to choose to let your guard down with people who understand how to tend to you the way you appreciate. Some people like jokes; others do not. Assess your friends more closely so that you choose better who can hold your confidence when you need to be vulnerable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: IÕve been at my current job for more than 10 years. I am happy, and I'm at a revered company in my industry. Over the years, IÕve built a rapport and created deep connections with other professionals, and recently, someone offered me a job. I was not looking or applying, but this is someone IÕve become well acquainted with over the years, and their brand is so highly regarded that I am tempted by the thought. At first, I thought they were kidding when they said theyÕd happily make room for me, but we ran into each other again, and they reminded me to give them an update sooner or later.

This truly wasnÕt on my radar. A job change? A life change? Currently, life is good, so IÕm not sure if I should risk that for something different. If I wasnÕt planning to make any changes and I am happy with my current job, how do I know when a new opportunity is the right decision? -- Time for a Change

DEAR TIME FOR A CHANGE: Follow up and schedule a formal meeting with this new potential employer. Ask a lot of questions to learn how the company functions and what its strengths and weak points are. Ask your friend why they think you should jump ship from your current employer to come there. Learn about benefits. Inquire about the financial health of the business, camaraderie among the staff and what they are offering you. Then decide.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole

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