Does The Whole Queue Get A Say In Letting Someone Cut?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: At times, a grocery checkout line will be very long, with only one cashier available. Someone with a full cart, three or four customers ahead of me, will offer a customer approaching the long line with only a couple of items permission to go ahead of them. They thereby award the same permission on behalf of all customers behind them in line, even though we were not asked if we would mind waiting a minute or two longer for the single-item customer to check out.
If the accommodating customer had asked all of us if we minded, the odds of anyone objecting are almost nil.
It is one of those small life unpleasantries, but maybe Miss Manners might advise those who would give such permission to ask everyone in line first, as a courtesy?
GENTLE READER: While the shopper stands there holding a cereal box and a stick of butter, listening to the vote? And in these contentious times, someone shouts, "No fair! She's busting into line! Get back there, lady."
Of course, that reaction is what you are trying to avoid. From the number of letters Miss Manners receives about confrontations in grocery lines, she is not sure that such courtesies can be offered without unpleasant repercussions.
Perhaps if it is put as, "If no one objects, I'll let this lady with only two items go ahead," no one will want to be singled out as the one person saying "I object."
But sadly, perhaps not.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 69 and have worn a visible hearing aid my entire adult life. I have had many people who know I'm hard of hearing jokingly say "What?" or silently mouth words, as if my hearing loss is somehow humorous.
I doubt they are mean-spirited, but rather cluelessly insensitive. What is the best way to let them know that people who are hard of hearing find these attempts at humor highly offensive?
GENTLE READER: Has it come to that? That Miss Manners has to inform people that it's not nice to make fun of others' disabilities?
It could hardly be more mean-spirited. So much so, that there is no response except turning your back on such people.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When placing silverware on the table, does the sharp edge of the knife face toward the plate or away from it?
GENTLE READER: The simple answer is: toward the plate.
But Miss Manners can't help offering the wordy answer.
Until the 19th century, most Westerners, including European royalty, ate with their knives (and considered Italians to be sissies for using forks). Specifically, they ate with their own knives, which they used for hunting and then brought to the dinner table.
Some diners noticed that the knives had other uses -- picking teeth, for example, and settling arguments. To cut down on the carnage -- or perhaps on the sight of people picking their teeth -- Cardinal Richelieu had the sharp points filed off table knives, and Louis XIV of France decreed blunted knives were to be used for dining.
Today's dinner knife is still sharp, although never quite sharp enough. You turn it toward yourself to symbolize your intent to use it only on your roast beef and not on your dinner partner.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026 Judith Martin
COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN
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