Young Lawyer Needs To Speak Up
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 25-year-old-lawyer who worked as a law clerk for a year before passing the bar exam. When I accompany the partner to hearings where a client is present, I invariably get asked whether I am still in law school or how I like being a paralegal.
What is the appropriate response? Also, when I am in the office, sometimes potential clients will walk in and ask me to make copies for them (assuming the secretary is not there). I usually do this graciously, but I am wondering if there is something I can say to establish the fact that I am an attorney.
GENTLE READER: That you were willing to make the copies for the client shows your heart was in the right place -- which Miss Manners agrees is no small thing after three years of law school and a year of court.
But unfortunately, she has to say that your head was not. If you think the partner, having observed either of these interactions with clients, was going to shout, "Promote that person immediately -- we need more people who put the client first!" you would have been wrong.
What he or she was really thinking was, "If that person cannot even explain to a client that they are not the secretary or a paralegal, how are they going to stand up to an angry judge?"
The correct thing to say to the client at the office is, "How do you do? I'm So-and-so, an attorney here at the firm. But let me find you a secretary who can help you." The answer to the client at the hearing is, "I am really enjoying being an associate here at the firm." Then give a reason why the work you are doing for the firm is even more interesting than your clerkship -- throwing in the name of the judge you worked for.
Business manners are different than social manners, and most lawyers are used to being contradicted without taking offense. They may even recognize the courage it took for you to speak up.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a female homeowner who lives in a two-story house. Mostly the living area is upstairs, after a 15-step staircase with a small landing before the turn.
If someone comes to my house who has never been, or a worker to do a repair or something, who do I let walk up the stairs first, looking at the other person's butt? The male stranger, the female stranger, or me?
GENTLE READER: Etiquette is neutral on who leads, unless the passage is challenging, in which case you would want to go first to act as guide.
As to what there is to see along the way, Miss Manners hopes that whoever follows will have the common courtesy, if not the common sense, to follow at a modest distance and with eyes elsewhere -- no ifs, ands, buts or butts.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026 Judith Martin
COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN
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