I Don't Want To Talk About My Groceries
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I believe what I buy at the grocery store is my own business, whether it's carrots and onions or products whose purpose would be embarrassing if explained. I wish supermarkets would train their staff not to comment on customer purchases, no matter how benign the sentiment. ("Oh, I like those cookies!")
Questions about relevant issues are OK. Mostly, though, I just want to pay the store what they're due and escape with my bags.
GENTLE READER: Wouldn't that be nice. Unfortunately, the problem is that the staff are probably being trained to participate in this intrusive banter. Apparently the weather is just too banal.
However, just for fun, Miss Manners suggests you treat their comments as though they were weather-related anyway. As in, "Yes, it does look like it might rain" in response to any of your grocery items being needlessly approved.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Why do so many people think it's acceptable to lick their fingers while eating when napkins are readily available?
I find this disgusting, especially when they do it in public places. They're spreading germs when they touch things without washing their hands afterwards. Am I the one with a problem?
GENTLE READER: You will be when those germs find their way to you.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I got a save-the-date card for the wedding of his cousin's daughter. It was out of state, so they gave a website with names of hotels and prices. Because of the high prices, long travel and my husband's poor health, we would not be able to attend, but we didn't tell anyone.
As the year went by, I never got an invitation for her bridal shower, which was odd, and we never got an invitation to the wedding!
Weeks before the wedding, I called his cousin to find out what happened, and was given an excuse that the guest list had gotten too big and too expensive so they "made cuts"!
No other family member was cut except us. I asked if it was because my husband's sister would be there and he's not speaking to her, but was told no. I don't believe that because it made no sense -- when planning a wedding you know how many guests you'll invite and what the cost will be.
Thank goodness I didn't buy a shower gift or book a hotel -- we could have been out hundreds of dollars!
GENTLE READER: And as you weren't planning to go, they could have gotten away with inviting you without having to count you in their bloated guest list.
Indeed, save-the-date cards are binding on the hosts' part, but not on the guests'. So they were at fault.
But fortunately, you had not intended to go anyway, or Miss Manners thinks you might be prone to hold a grudge against them. Phew. All you missed was the opportunity to decline, even to the shower, which is not an automatic add-on for wedding guests. And the chance to not speak to your sister-in-law.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026 Judith Martin
COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN
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