Life Advice

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Health

Blindsided and Brokenhearted

Annie Lane on

Dear Annie: I have a friend who is moving out of state in six weeks, and she has a family member who is giving her a hard time. The family member is giving her the, "What about me?" song and dance after my friend did everything in her power to make sure the family member is taken care of.

I know it's none of my business, but my friend is like a sister to me, and I hate to see her like this. Other than lending an ear to listen, what else can I do? -- Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend: Your initial instinct that it is none of your business is a correct one. Try to remind her that the guilt the family member is putting on her ("What about me?") is really covering up the fact that they love her and will miss her. In the end, it all comes down to love. Continue what you are doing, and be there for her.

Dear Annie: Recently, I received a text message from a girl I had feelings for. We actually had feelings for each other.

Unfortunately, I really fell for her and was starting to fall in love with her.

Everything was going fine between us. Then, all of a sudden, she dropped a bomb on me by sending me a random text message saying how she doesn't want to have any more contact with me outside of work, and she no longer wants to be friends with me either.

This has really hurt me emotionally.

I'm not an obsessive person, and I haven't contacted her since. But I miss her immensely. I even dedicated a song to her.

I just hate this feeling, and it's horrible that I have to deal with this. -- Singing the Blues

 

Dear Blues: Breaking up with you over text is a cowardly move. At some level, you know that you are better off without her, but right now you are feeling the sting of heartbreak. Based on her actions and the way she treated you, it sounds like you dodged a bullet in the long run. Relationships are best when they are with people who are considerate and confident enough to look you in the eye and tell you how they feel.

Right now, you are a little shocked, but in time, you will find someone new who deserves you.

Dear Annie: I have four children. With their busy schedules and the end of school happening very soon, I am feeling overwhelmed with commitments. Please help a mom who feels like she is drowning in a sea of commitments. -- Coming Up for Air

Dear Air: Here are some tips for parents -- or anyone, really -- who might feel like they have too much to do each day. Try to get up an hour before everyone else in your family and engage in some quiet prayer, meditation and/or exercise.

A second step would be to stop expecting the evening to be perfect. Choose what is most important to you, and let the rest go.

Lastly, never be afraid to ask for help.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

 

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