Entitled Sister Gets Physical When Disappointed
DEAR HARRIETTE: I try to integrate my younger sister into my life as often as I can. Though we have a large age gap, she's graduated from college now, so it feels more appropriate to let her come out with me from time to time. She's known a lot of my close friends for a long time. That said, I may have given her the wrong impression by allowing her to hang out with us. Last weekend, a few of us went out, and my best friend gave another friend and me tickets to a sold-out concert. My sister got upset that she wasn't included and fell silent for the rest of brunch. At some point, my best friend tried to fix it by saying she'd keep my sister in mind next time. She rubbed my sister's hand, and my sister smacked her hand away. My best friend was appalled. She left brunch. I've apologized profusely, but my sister has only sent a mediocre apology text message. I feel disrespected. My sister is entitled and ungrateful, and I never expected her to get physical with my friend. What should I do next? -- Out of Hand
DEAR OUT OF HAND: Consider this a teachable moment. Sit down with your sister and tell her that you understand that her feelings were hurt because she wasn't included in the concert, but that is no excuse for her being rude to your friend. Point out that not everyone can do everything together in a relationship. That's normal. Yes, she is friends with your friends. You have made sure to include her. That does not mean, however, that she has permission to be rude or disrespectful.
Talk to her about expectations -- mainly that it's best not to have them. For her to expect an acquaintance to give her something for nothing is a recipe for hurt feelings. It is better to enjoy the moment and watch how things unfold. She knows that you and your friend are besties. She should be happy that you can do something together that seemed impossible.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Father's Day always brings up mixed emotions for me. Yes, my father is loving and supportive of me; however, growing up, he was in and out of the house due to addiction. I was primarily raised by my mom. Even when my dad was home, he wasn't present; he was there but checked out. I wished both my mom and my dad a happy Father's Day this year. I wished my dad a happy Father's Day out of respect, and to my mom out of thanks for being a single parent and being the main person who raised me. This caused strife in my family, with my dad being offended and various family members saying I created drama for no reason. I don't regret what I did, but I also don't want my family to be mad at me. What should I do? -- Father's Day Drama
DEAR FATHER'S DAY DRAMA: Your public comment in front of your dad naturally hurt his feelings. You can double back and tell him that wasn't your intention; however, you are grateful that your mother stepped up in every way when he was largely absent. You believe she deserves credit for that. Your direct comments to him may create space for an honest conversation about your relationship and where it can head now.
========
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Comments