Empty Nester Mom Feels Adrift Without Kids At Home
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 60-year-old single mom, and all four of my children have moved out of my house. It now feels empty, and I'm not sure what to do with myself. My children are my world, and all of my free time went to them when they lived here. Now that my youngest son has officially graduated college and is moving out and getting his own apartment, the house feels empty and lonely.
For so many years, my identity has been centered around being a mother, which included driving my kids to activities, supporting them through school and always being there when they needed me. I don't think finding a partner is the solution to my loneliness. I have no interest in dating again. I divorced my husband 17 years ago, and I said that he would be my last romantic relationship ever. I have friends and acquaintances, but many of them are still busy raising their own families or are in different stages of life, so I sometimes feel out of place.
I've thought about picking up hobbies or getting more involved in my community, but I don't even know where to begin or what would truly make me feel fulfilled. How can I find a sense of purpose in life now that my main role in life isn't mother? -- Empty Nester
DEAR EMPTY NESTER: Now is the time to get busy. What did you always want to do that you put off? Figure that out and do it. Create a bucket list of your wildest dreams; check them off one by one. It could be going on a cruise, snorkeling with dolphins, spending a day at the movies -- anything! Dream it up and do it. If you don't want to go solo, find clubs that specialize in ideas that appeal to you.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My son wants to enlist in the Marines. I told him that this is a bad idea and that he won't make it through boot camp. He grew up going to private schools and playing tennis, so he hasn't had many physically tough challenges in his life. I wanted to set him up for success academically so he could go into finance or tech, not the Marines. I'm worried because he isn't physically strong and the Marines demand so much out of your body.
Beyond the physical aspect, I'm also concerned that he doesn't fully understand what he's signing up for -- the level of discipline, mental toughness and long-term commitment that comes with enlisting. I've tried to talk to him about other career paths that align more with his upbringing and strengths, but he seems set on this decision and says he wants to challenge himself and do something meaningful. I don't want to discourage him from doing something that he has set his mind to, but I want to warn him about what he's signing up for. Am I a bad mother for telling my son that this isn't a good idea? -- Bad Mom
DEAR BAD MOM: You aren't bad, just overly cautious. You might be pleasantly surprised by how strong your son is. If he wants to join the Marines, clear the path. He will discover how tough and focused he can be. Stop being a naysayer. Support him.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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