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Adult daughter criticizes mom -- for everything

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I need some help with my oldest daughter. I divorced their father when my girls were under the age of five. My ex was an alcoholic and heavy smoker who was -- at best -- spotty with child support.

I was a great earner and provided for the girls. We had dinner together every night and I never missed an activity. Their father died three...Read more

Dating Is Biggest Challenge For Young College Student

Life Advice / Dear Abby /

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old girl who has started college early. I love my classes, and I'm glad to be here. The problem is, the dating culture here is huge. People go on dates all the time.

I have been asked out several times, and I feel comfortable going, but I feel dishonest when I don't tell them that I'm 16. However, if I'm upfront about ...Read more

Annie's Mailbox for 2/10/2018

Life Advice / Annie's Mailbox /

Dear Annie: I am 39 years old. For the past 20 years, I have had ongoing therapy to recover from the sexual abuse I suffered as a child. My abuser was my half-brother. When I finally said something at the age of 13, my family did not believe or support me. Since then, family gatherings have been especially difficult because my family expects ...Read more

Was her invite to the wedding shower lost in the mail?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

I didn't get an invitation to my friend's wedding shower. I loooove showers and weddings and graduations and birthday parties. LOVE them.

I'm over the initial hurt and can rationalize that, perhaps, they limited the invites to just the wedding party and family, or my invite got lost in...Read more

Taking Time to Appreciate Veterans

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: In the past year, the Department of Veterans Affairs has tackled many issues for our veterans, and we are proud to participate in the largest transformation of VA in recent history.

Our volunteers and community partners form a large part of this effort, allowing us to bring programs and services to our veterans that otherwise ...Read more

Long-buried secret resurfaces when principals die

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: A year after my mother died, I woke up to the sounds of my father and my married aunt (my mother's sister) having sex in the living room.

I was 17 at the time and had to go to school the next morning. I was panicked that I would run across my aunt when leaving, since she was now in my father's bedroom down the short hall from my room....Read more

Mother And Grandmother Clash Over Girl's Living Arrangements

Life Advice / Dear Abby /

DEAR ABBY: How old does a child have to be before she is able to choose a relative to live with? I'm the one my granddaughter wants to stay with. Her home life is in turmoil because of her parents' nasty divorce.

Ever since her mother (my daughter) found out my granddaughter wants to live with me, she has forbidden her to talk to me, and me to ...Read more

Annie's Mailbox for 2/9/2018

Life Advice / Annie's Mailbox /

Dear Annie: This is in response to "Tired in Rural Oregon," whose kids are slobs and whose husband doesn't care. I told my kids if they didn't pick up their messes, I would hire a "maid." One day, they came home to a clean, organized house. I said the "maid" had come. When I handed out my children's allowance for the week, I took back the ...Read more

Pressured to repair husband's relationship with his sisters

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

My husband is not close with his sisters, who do not live locally. They text sometimes, but don't see one another more than once a year, and almost always when we travel to them.

We had a baby this summer whom his sisters and their families have never met. My mother-in-law, who lives much closer to us, keeps asking and telling...Read more

Person to Person: Feed others positive language to boost relationships

Life Advice / Helping Yourself /

Have you ever stopped to consider that people either feed you or drain you? We all know people who boost our spirits up, while others drag us into a ditch.

Most of us think of our relationships in these terms: We like to be around people who make us feel good. We hope, no one, in his right mind, would gravitate to people who dish out bad ...Read more

Cut the Chitchat

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I recently went to see my doctor about some troublesome symptoms I had been experiencing, and the entire time he was examining me, he kept up a running monologue about the holidays and politics and other assorted topics. I responded as necessary, but mostly I found myself wondering how he could be doing a good job of listening to ...Read more

Should son of abusive father try to reconcile?

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: My husband, "Steven," was raised by an abusive father. He received regular beatings and humiliation (in front of his friends) as punishment. He was not a bad kid. His mother stood by passively and did nothing about it.

Steven had two siblings who were not treated badly. As an adult, his mom and dad continued to "put him in his place" ...Read more

Strings Attached To Son's Gift Have Mom Tied Up In Knots

Life Advice / Dear Abby /

DEAR ABBY: My son bought me a car in 2012. I had no idea he was doing it. He traded my car in for this newer car.

During the last five years this gift has been nothing but a sore spot. If I get a ding from a parking lot, it's my fault. If I let someone smoke in it, I'm unappreciative. It's always, I do something to help you, and you're so ...Read more

Annie's Mailbox for 2/8/2018

Life Advice / Annie's Mailbox /

Dear Annie: I lost my beautiful daughter to suicide six months ago. A strong and able firefighter, she was also extremely active in her community.

Naturally, I leaned on my mother for consolation, but I didn't find it. Instead, my mother was distant and uninterested in my pain. It was an effort even to get her to attend my daughter's memorial...Read more

Boyfriend wears ladies' lingerie under his clothes, and friend is freaked out

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My boyfriend is a very athletic, CrossFit, off-road-biking, jock kind of guy. He also sometimes likes to wear ladies' lingerie, which is completely fine with me.

The other day he was wearing a satiny bra under a T-shirt and a friend of ours happened to see the strap. The friend is kind...Read more

This Is Our Humble Abode

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I'm hoping you can settle a little disagreement between my 16-year-old daughter and me. The two of us live together in a modest home, which I am proud of. It is nothing special, but I work hard to keep it neat and organized.

When we have company, I am very welcoming and ask our guests whether they would like to see our home, from ...Read more

Old friendship is hotbed of problems and advice

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I have lifelong buddy in his 50s. He had a few emotional/family/divorce issues a decade ago and he basically checked out of life. He stopped maintaining his home and business and let his health go. There were years of dysfunctional behavior, borderline hoarding, a bad diet, a disastrous relationship -- all of these things overwhelmed ...Read more

Wife Of Man With Parkinson's Wants To Start Dating Others

Life Advice / Dear Abby /

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 72-year-old married woman. My husband has atypical Parkinson's and can no longer talk or walk.

I exercise six days a week, but I need someone to talk to, to share life with. I tell my husband what I do each day, but of course, there is no feedback. He's at home, and we have 24-hour care.

Can I date? If I explained to him how I...Read more

Annie's Mailbox for 2/7/2018

Life Advice / Annie's Mailbox /

Dear Annie: I'm a teenager, and my friend told me he's having suicidal thoughts. His dad is really hard on him, and I suspect he's verbally abusive, as well.

He made me promise never to tell anyone and said he wouldn't actually go through with these thoughts. But I don't know what to do. Would it ruin him if I told someone? And who would I ...Read more

Does dating a former friend's ex-husband violate a 'girlfriend code'?

Life Advice / Carolyn Hax /

Dear Carolyn:

About 20 years ago, my husband and I befriended this other couple. We were all recently married then. We saw each other's kids grow up, and spent time staying at each other's homes on visits.

The husbands had a falling out seven years ago and we all stopped speaking. She particularly shunned me after their argument, which had ...Read more

 

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