ArcaMax

DEAR SUSAN: Recently, I reconnected with a man I knew four years ago during college days. We spent a whole day in wine country, and it became clear that money is a major issue for him. He griped the whole day about spending money to taste wine and made a fuss about having dinner at the end of the day, sore at having to treat me. Keep in mind that he asked me out!

He came to see me a few days before New Year's and asked me out for dinner, theater, etc. But as soon as I accepted, he said we'd go Dutch -- whereupon I declined. Soon thereafter, he sent me an email saying that now he knows I'm all about money.

I may be old-fashioned, but I believe that when a man asks a woman out, there are certain expectations.

He was very insulted when I declined but said he'd take the high road and forgive me. Then he accused me of "running hot and cold."

I say it's time for me to be gracious and thank him for his interest but say that our expectations are clearly different. What do you think? -- Jenny, a longtime fan of "Single File"

DEAR JENNY: I certainly agree it's time to be moving on, free of this pathetic fellow. He's too far gone to rehabilitate, and spending any more time with him would be self-inflicted torture. He's to be pitied -- but from afar, perhaps outer space. Can you imagine being married to him and facing a daily trial about household expenses or the cost of dishwasher powder?! No, dear fan, save your genteel ways for someone with real values and a clear head. All he merits is a short, polite farewell. Save your voice for a friend more generous in spirit.

"SINGLE FILE" TIP: Now, while you're uncoupled and (relatively) free to live your way, my friend, it's time to start thinking outside the box. Wouldn't you just adore marking the following as "done"?

--Own a black (very sheer) nightgown from Victoria's Secret.

--Swim in the Mediterranean Sea.

--Lose 20 pounds.

--Own the complete collection of Beatles records.

--Have a long, unhurried talk -- about life and love -- with your best friend.

--Walk through gobs of freshly fallen snow and listen to the crunch.

--Go skinny-dipping with someone you adore.

--Take time off from work just to be by yourself and read.

--See Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower, hugging your beloved.

--Take a child to Disneyland.

--Have a professional massage.

--Bake bread.

--Have your poem/article published.

--Speak wonderfully well at a business meeting -- and be told you did.

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Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at susan@single-file.com. We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks -- in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.