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Millennial Life: A Tale of Two Voices
His voice vibrated with anger. It was contained, waiting for the release of the hello that never came, and my voicemail message forced him to change his tactic. He knew he had to keep that lid on to get a return call, but there was a Tupperware burp at the end, when he spat out an ask on what my plans were to enact the change he wanted.
He ...Read more
Ask Anna: How do you know if someone likes you on a first date?
Dear Anna,
I’m 34 and recently got back into dating after a five-year relationship ended about a year ago. I took time to work on myself, went to therapy, and I’m finally ready to put myself out there again. The problem? I’ve completely lost the ability to tell if someone is actually interested in me. I’ve been on maybe eight or nine ...Read more
Single File: Feelings Inventory (Part 2 of 2)
As promised, here is more food for thought. Read the following sentences closely, and mark whether you agree or disagree with each.
--Going places alone is the last resort. It makes me look and feel like a reject.
--Marriage and children are the ultimate fulfillment for every woman.
--Being married is better than being single.
--Women who ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: The guy I'm seeing 'exclusively' is still on the apps. What do I do?
I recently had someone reach out to me about a dating dilemma: The man she was “dating exclusively” (her words) told her he was no longer on apps. However, a friend spotted his profile, which was not only “active now,” but updated. When this person approached the man about it, he claimed that the app kept his dating profile active for �...Read more
Millennial Life: The Bridge Generation is Feeling Its Age
Millennials are a cultural infrastructure, like an older overpass everyone depends on, but it's starting to carry more weight than it was originally designed to hold. We're trying to move things forward as we absorb tension from both directions. And increasingly, this generation is being asked to adapt to a world we did not build, as parts of it...Read more
Ask Anna: Situationship detox -- learning to date for real
Dear Anna,
I’m 28 and for the past few years, I’ve been fully committed to the casual hookup lifestyle. I’m bisexual and I’ve had a string of no-strings-attached situationships with people I met on apps — probably a dozen or so in the last two years alone. I was totally fine with it. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, and ...Read more
Single File: Feelings Inventory (Part 1 of 2)
Read the following sentences closely, and mark whether you agree or disagree with each.
--Being single means being alone and lonely.
--Single women have a tougher time than single men.
--Men don't want the same things from a relationship as women do.
--Every woman should marry and have children.
--A woman is incomplete without a man.
--...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: Should I wait for her to be ready for a relationship?
A male client of mine went on 12 dates with a woman over a few months. (For what it’s worth, if you’re still counting the number of dates at this point, I do have to wonder why.) Regardless, my client is looking for a long-term relationship and he wasn’t sure how this woman felt about that. I encouraged him to tell her what he’s looking ...Read more
Millennial Life: On Refusing to Earn Your Way Into Joy
When I first met my husband, he ran through the standard get-to-know-you questions, one of which was, did I like to bike? As he was, and still is, very handsome, the answer was a swift, "Of course!"
I lied.
It's not that I was anti-bike or didn't know how to ride; I just wasn't an avid cyclist, which is what he sounded like at the time. That ...Read more
Ask Anna: I didn't care about a wedding ring -- so why do I now?
Dear Anna,
When my husband and I got engaged in our 20s, we were barely scraping by. He proposed without a ring, and we got married not long after with a small, low-key ceremony — no bands, no big gestures, just the two of us building a life together. At the time, it felt completely right. Fifteen years and a couple of kids later, things look...Read more
Single File: Learning to Complain
Opening your mouth isn't only for feeding; it's also for complaining. But let's face it: Most women don't have much experience expressing negative opinions. Our function as the calmer of troubled waters is so deeply ingrained that it's almost a genetic trait. We've been conditioned to skirt around confrontation and head-on collisions in any form...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: How to muster up hope when I'm feeling defeated?
Another day, another batch of dating questions — some about losing hope in finding a partner, some about defining the relationship, and some about date planning. Perhaps one will especially resonate with you.
Q: We’ve been dating for three months. I’m ready to define the relationship. I'm afraid he might not be ready yet. Bring it up or ...Read more
Book lovers: Five couples wed at Minneapolis library
MINNEAPOLIS -- Five Saturday weddings featured something old, something new, something borrowed and something red. Make that something “read,” since the weddings happened at Minneapolis Central Library.
The weddings took place in 15-minute intervals in Pohlad Hall, with receptions in a nearby meeting room. Each couple were allotted 25 ...Read more
Millennial Life: Advocacy Shouldn't Sound Like Call Me Back
One of my pet peeves is getting a voicemail from someone who just simply asks me to call them back. No topic. No indication if it's urgent, or important, or worst case, urgent and important. Usually, this makes it drop down on my list of priorities, unless curiosity gets the best of me and I do have some time.
I've been debating effective forms...Read more
Ask Amy: Exiting with some well-worn wisdom
Dear Readers: Since announcing my departure from writing this syndicated column, I have heard from scores of people across various platforms, thanking me for more than two decades of offering advice and wishing me well in my “retirement.” I am very touched and grateful for this outpouring of support.
The thing is – I don’t think of ...Read more
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