ArcaMax

I get a lot of questions that sound something like, “Can you help me write a profile that attracts the type of person I'm looking for?”

In the most loving way, I say, “No, I can't do that.”

And I don’t answer that way to be dismissive. I answer that way because I genuinely don't know what the person you're looking for … is ...Read more

PHILADELPHIA — Franki Jupiter grew up in St. Louis, the son of a Presbyterian minister and a Bible Study teacher. He was raised to believe he should marry young and remain committed — to both Jesus and his wife — for life.

But Jupiter, 39, didn’t end up doing so.

“I love people, and I’m not great with impulse control,” he ...Read more

Dear Anna,

I’m 35 and my girlfriend is 30. She works at a tech startup and has gotten really close with one of her coworkers — a 28-year-old guy who just moved to the city. They’re part of a work friend group that hangs out outside the office pretty regularly. Last weekend, the whole group went to a concert that I wanted to go to, but I ...Read more

Today, we have five questions across all aspects of dating:

Q: How do I manage the grief associated with not finding what I’m looking for?

A: This is an interesting question that can answer in a few different ways.

First, I completely understand what you're saying. Most people's lives don't go in exactly the way they want. So we do have to ...Read more

The Rachels met each other when they were 5 and 6 years old, and they met Lizzy Seitel — who would come to be known as one of the Rachels despite her name — in middle school.

They all lived in the D.C. area, and one weekend they took part in a retreat with Cheder, a progressive Jewish community in the area. In Seitel’s recollection, they ...Read more

Dear Anna,

I’m a 38-year-old woman and recently reconnected with my ex-boyfriend from college, who’s now 40. We dated for two years when we were 22 and 24, and it was intense and meaningful before life pulled us in different directions.

We’ve been back together for about five months now, and he’s everything I remembered, except for one...Read more

PHILADELPHIA -- Chris Summers was born in South Philly and raised by her grandmother and her mother. She knew she was supposed to get married, but she never felt exactly like the people around her.

The main sticking point was sex: she didn’t want to have it, yet she still longed for romantic companionship.

”I really crave connection and ...Read more

If you’ve ever wondered, when dating someone, “How do I express my needs and then decide if it’s a relationship I still want to be in?” I have a framework I’d like you to consider: The Tree of Needs.

You’ll have to use your imagination for this one and picture a tree. At the top, we have your need, whatever that may be. On the next...Read more

Dear Anna,

My girlfriend and I have been together for four years, and we’re constantly fighting about alone time. We both work full time but on different schedules. When she gets home from work, she immediately disappears into the bedroom for at least an hour — sometimes longer — to “decompress.” She insists this isn’t personal and ...Read more

Dear Readers: Since announcing my departure from writing this syndicated column, I have heard from scores of people across various platforms, thanking me for more than two decades of offering advice and wishing me well in my “retirement.” I am very touched and grateful for this outpouring of support.

The thing is – I don’t think of ...Read more