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Single File: Workaholism (Part 2)
On every page of your daily calendar, write the following: "If it's 7 p.m. and I'm still at my desk, go home!" Write the same message on slips of red paper tucked into your purse or wallet -- and any other place they'll be noticed. But writing notes is one thing; following through is what takes guts.
Carve out time in your daily routine for ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: What should I ask on a first date?
I have a new client, Sandy. She lives in San Francisco, she’s in her mid-60s, and she hasn’t dated in over 30 years, since before she was with her late husband. Dating has changed a lot since then.
She and I had a few pep talks about first dates — what to wear, where to meet, who should pay, and how to end a date depending on how it goes...Read more
Millennial Life; New to Old Things
I'd argue that I'm not a hoarder. My husband would like to contest that. I explained to him that a middle-class life is not complete without a drawer of odds and ends in the kitchen. He said that one drawer sounds plausible, "but," he said, and started to point at more than one drawer around the kitchen that could fit the bill.
However, my ...Read more
Single File: Workaholism (Part 1)
When career becomes life and there are virtually no boundaries in between, work is no longer a connection. How could it possibly be? There's nothing it can connect you to! In the same way an alcoholic hides behind a bottle, you could be using your work to protect yourself from life beyond the office walls. If so, you could wake up at age 60 with...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: What dating app seems to have the best luck in finding a partner?
Another day, another set of dating questions.
Question: What dating app seems to have the best luck in finding a partner?
Answer: You may not love my answer, but it's not about luck or "finding" someone. It's about being proactive and using the apps efficiently. You can be successful, or unsuccessful, on any app depending on how thoughtfully ...Read more
Ask Anna: I've been poly for 12 years. Why am I crying in the bathroom?
Dear Anna,
I’ve been happily married for 12 years, and my husband and I have been poly for eight of them. Overall, it’s been a really positive part of our relationship. We’ve had our trials, of course, but we communicate much better than we once did, we both date other people occasionally, and I genuinely experience compersion much of the...Read more
Millennial Life: The Adults We Were Waiting For
A friend recently told me they had been canvassing for a local candidate. As we talked, I mentioned that I hoped the candidate understood what comes after Election Day. Campaigns are built on conviction, but governing is built on collaboration, which often means working with people who disagree with you, voted against you, or have questioned ...Read more
Ask Anna: Is my partner protecting me -- or controlling me?
Dear Anna,
I’m 28 and have been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half. Things are really good between us overall, but we keep hitting a wall over one specific issue: I occasionally text with an ex from about four years ago. And I do mean occasionally. We’re talking maybe once or twice a month, maybe less than that. And the gist is:...Read more
Single File: Up, Up and Away
This could be you: making more money than ever and moving away from the pack, only to discover that in pulling yourself up, you're pushing men away. In the small hours of the morning, you catch yourself wondering whether the old days of money-blindness were better than the isolation solvency is bringing. In your heart of hearts, you know there's...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: He's only been separated for 6 months. Is this a deal-breaker?
We have questions today about someone’s potential readiness to be in a relationship, one-word answers in the dating apps, making a good first impression and how to know when it’s time to get back out there after a breakup.
Question: I met a guy. It’s been six months since his separation after more than 20 years of marriage. Is this a deal...Read more
Ask Anna: Is this love bombing? And should I play matchmaker?
Dear Anna,
I’ve been messaging someone I met on a dating app for about three weeks, and we finally have our first date this weekend. We’ve had some really fun conversations, and I’m genuinely excited to meet her. The other night she mentioned that she’d been reading a book she loved, but her library hold expired before she could finish ...Read more
Single File: Money Smarts (Part 2)
Last week, I explained some ways to bring in more money. These are a few more imagination stirrers:
--Join or start an investment club. Your old-girl network will probably yield five or six live wires interested in pooling money and making more. But don't stop there. Reach out to co-workers and relatives who are businesspeople and interested in...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: Why do they send these texts before we've even met??
About 10 years ago, when I was in the first few years of running my business, I was working out of a co-working space. A great place to get work done … and meet people. I remember very clearly when someone I met at the office asked if I’d like to have dinner. I thought it was a nice gesture, and I know how hard it is to muster up the courage...Read more
Millennial Life: What the Tide Returned
Last year, the waves lapping on the beach convinced a mountain girl that the sea has its own charms. This year, the waves reminded me that parts of me that I feared had sailed away were actually just in murky depths, waiting to be stirred up and brought forward by the tides of change.
Our second trip to Puerto Penasco got a bit of an upgrade, ...Read more
Single File: Money Smarts (Part 1)
Let's assume you're well-organized and dripping with money smarts but the money under your control is still not exactly "significant." Angry? Discouraged? Great! You're ripe for upward movement. There are a zillion ways to bring in more money. These are only a few imagination stirrers:
--Finish your schooling. A college degree will get you two-...Read more
Ask Amy: Exiting with some well-worn wisdom
Dear Readers: Since announcing my departure from writing this syndicated column, I have heard from scores of people across various platforms, thanking me for more than two decades of offering advice and wishing me well in my “retirement.” I am very touched and grateful for this outpouring of support.
The thing is – I don’t think of ...Read more
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