Nice Try, Lady
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would like to explain why some people put their feet on the furniture, or tuck their feet under and sit on them.
The women in my family are short. Most furniture is designed for people taller than us. Our feet do not reach the floor, nor do they reach the stools or ottomans that are usually placed a long-legged length away. Our backs hurt after (properly) sitting on most furniture. One hour of dangling feet equals three days of back pain.
In our homes, we each have a small chair for our own comfort. When we spend time in public, at friends' houses or at each other's places, we find ourselves tucking at least one foot under, or sitting sideways in the corner of a couch with crossed legs. My daughters and I frequently fight over the corners.
We don't stay long in places where sitting properly means that we will be in pain. We usually ask our host(ess) if we can tuck up our impeccably clean feet after we explain the pain of being short.
GENTLE READER: "The pain of being short"?
Miss Manners herself suffers from that affliction. And yet somehow she has managed never to have put her bare feet on other people's furniture. So forgive her if she remains steadfast in requiring that the rest of the population behave similarly.
However, in the game of "I get an exception for medical reasons," she applauds your effort and originality.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My best friend's birthday was coming up, and two other friends and I wanted to get her something special. I came up with a gift idea, and they liked it.
One of the other friends (Friend 2) also came up with another gift idea. Both ideas were kind of expensive, so the three of us agreed to split the costs of both gifts.
Then, Friend 2 was not able to attend the party because of another event she wanted to go to. She thought we should refrain from giving the gifts at the party and wait for another time when she was available.
I, however, wanted to be able to give a gift to my friend at her party, so I suggested we could take one gift to the party and she could keep the other gift for another time.
Friend 2 suggested instead I should come up with a third gift for the party. Friend 3 didn't seem to have an opinion about the situation.
Was my solution so wrong?
GENTLE READER: Yours was a reasonable solution to an unreasonable problem: that Friend 2 wants credit for both presents at her own fluctuating convenience. Miss Manners suggests you stick with the new plan -- and with Friend 3, who seems far more reasonable and even-keeled than 2.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When is the proper time to attach an anniversary band to your wife's wedding band?
GENTLE READER: While you are still married.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026 Judith Martin
COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN
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