Full-Figured Diner's Dilemma
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper way to protect one's bosom while eating?
To put it in perspective, I am quite short. When at a restaurant, the table often hits at my bust line. When I eat, I am sitting away from the table, and am not tall enough to lean over slightly. Anything that falls, from soup to nuts, so to speak, lands on my "shelf" and the napkin placed on my lap is useless.
I suppose I could tuck the napkin in my collar, but that seems like I am wearing a bib, which I equate with babies. Sometimes I hold the soup bowl with one hand and the spoon in the other, but that seems to border on barbaric. Other times, I try to hold the napkin in one hand to catch any dribbles.
I know I cannot be the only person who is constantly trying to hide the drips on her clothing. Please help all of us short, full-figured ladies.
GENTLE READER: The napkin-holding method sounds good. Or try wearing a top that matches your soup. But for foods that are more crumbly and less stain-y, Miss Manners finds leather (or a stain-resistant slippery equivalent) a helpful material for getting things to slide right to the floor. Just do not wear leather on the bottom half, lest your napkin slide off, too.
Or you might just bring along a seat cushion.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Most mornings, I stop at a deli to get a bagel for breakfast. Sometimes as I approach the door, a man is also approaching a little ahead of me, and will stop and open it for me.
If I enter the deli first, should I continue to the counter and order, or should I stop and allow him to order first?
GENTLE READER: Since this gentleman has been considerate, you should be, too. Once you are both inside, a hand gesture to the counter that indicates "after you" would be gracious.
And then he can choose to acquiesce or continue to let you go first. Fortunately, if this is the same man each time, or a small rotation of them, you will only have to do it once before establishing a routine.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My sister gave me a generous gift card to a restaurant that I will probably go to with her. Can I treat her using that gift card, paying the balance of the bill (if applicable) myself?
It feels weird to do that. Am I really treating her if it was her money originally, given to me in the gift card? I wouldn't have any problem using a gift card from somebody else to pay for my sister's meal.
GENTLE READER: Is there no one else you can use it on besides your sister? Because Miss Manners agrees that it is weird to use the card on the person who gave it to you -- and awkward to then feel an obligation to pay for the rest yourself. If that was your sister's intention, then she is not a very gracious present-giver.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026 Judith Martin
COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN
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