Since Season 4 of "Ted Lasso" just came out (so far, so good… and I love that he’s coaching a women’s team!), I decided to re-watch the first three seasons. Good TV is good TV. What can I say?

While overall, the show is a comedy, there are some definite pieces of wisdom hidden in there if you look hard enough. One of these is, “All people are different people.” This has become a favorite (or favourite?) expression of mine when coaching clients in the dating arena.

In the episode, Ted was talking to Coach Beard, and Beard said that he no longer wanted to date dancers because of one experience with one. Ted, astutely said, “All people are different people.” As in, you can’t extrapolate one dancer’s behavior to everyone with that profession. You might think this sounds extreme, but I can tell you that from my experience with clients, these kinds of phrases come up all the time.

“My date last night stood me up. Dating in Austin is the absolute worst.”

“I went out with a guy over 50 who wasn’t able to hike 10 miles with me. I’ll never date someone over 50 again.”

“They spoke so poorly about their ex (they were divorced) that I’ll never go out with someone who’s been divorced again. Not for me.”

“I had a bad experience with a CPA who worked too much, so I don’t want to date an accountant again. I need someone who makes time for me.”

“He rented, and he told me he couldn’t afford this restaurant I wanted to go to. I’m only going out with homeowners from now on.”

Yikes.

These are all real things clients have said to me, and this is just a selection of them. Whether we like to admit it or not, fitness level transcends age, people of all professions work too much or too little, and some people just don’t know when to bite their tongue.

If you find yourself having this generalization mindset when dating, try to turn the tables a bit and think about yourself. What are a few—say, five—basic characteristics that describe you? For me, let’s see… I’m from New Jersey originally. I’m an entrepreneur. I used to have a dog. I live in Brooklyn (in a rented apartment ;)). I used to live in Washington, D.C.

Now, let’s say someone had a date with an entrepreneur, and that person, unfortunately, used the term to indicate unemployment. Or, let’s say someone had a date with a woman with a poorly behaved dog who wasn’t housetrained. Or someone from D.C. who didn’t stop talking about politics.

None of those things describes me at all. But if someone made a generalization about “all entrepreneurs” or “all dog owners,” then they would have excluded me from their life for no good reason.

Preferences in dating are more than OK, but if you find yourself taking one “thing” about a person and projecting that onto strangers, then it’s time to pull a Ted Lasso and remind yourself that all people are different people. As are you.

____

©2026 Tribune Content Agency, LLC