Years ago, I had a client who was on Hinge, and someone she was interested in had a really cute picture of himself with a golden retriever. It was his last picture—the sixth of six. So, when she reached out to him, she said, appropriately, “What a cute pup! What’s his/her name?” Simple, cute, easy.

The guy replied (yay!) and, rather than being flattered that my client reached out with a thoughtful note, he instead accused her of stalking him. What?! He wrote, “How did you know I had a dog? Did you look me up? What else do you know about me?” She promptly wrote, “Look at your last picture.” Yikes and end scene.

This guy clearly hadn’t looked at his own profile in a while (years??), and that was to the detriment of everyone, especially my client in this case.

There are a few reasons why keeping your profile up to date is important. First, outdated references can make for awkward moments. For example, along the same lines, what if you see someone talk about their dog and you’re also a big pet lover, so you send a message asking specifically about the pup … only to hear that the dog died months ago? I can’t think of a worse start to a conversation. Or that it was a neighbor’s dog … from your apartment building five years ago. Or they “borrowed” a dog just to get more matches. (Sadly, it works, but it’s not what I would recommend.)

As another example, seeing an outdated COVID reference (or photo with a mask… which I wouldn’t recommend regardless of how recent it is) or mentioning something in pop culture that has long since passed can make the person reading the bio wonder if there’s even a real, active person on the other side of the screen. If they’re not updating their profile, maybe they’re not checking the account at all? And if they’re not checking their account, is there even a point in sending a message?

An outdated profile can also create a disconnect when you actually do meet someone. If your profile says one thing and your current life says another, the person you’re meeting may feel like they’re meeting a different version of you than the one they thought they were getting to know online. That’s not a great way to start a date.

Every couple months, if not sooner, give your profile a quick read and refresh. Take out references to holidays that have passed (it seems random to bring up your New Year’s resolutions in July), trips you had planned and already took, or any other obsolete information. Replace it with something new, like the bucket list vacation you did, the cooking class you want to take, or really anything that accurately represents the you of today.

In addition to updating your bio, also take a look at your photos. Does it still look like you, or did your appearance shift? Maybe you got a major hair makeover or your body changed? Again, your profile should sound like and look like you today. So if you’ve shaved a beard, dyed your hair in recent months, or lost or gained a significant amount of weight, your photos should reflect that.

Yes, that does often mean taking new photos, which I know can be a struggle for some. Try your best to remember to ask a friend next time you go out to snap something. It doesn’t have to be formal, but it does have to be accurate. In fact, you should always show up on your date matching the first photo, down to the hairstyle if you can, to make sure people recognize you.

Your profile deserves frequent updates to keep it in top shape and increase your chances of getting messages that turn into dates.

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