Love Declaration Causes Stumble In Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: I said "I love you" during sex, and I meant it. I've been dating my guy for less than a year, but I appreciate everything about him and our bond. We have grown so close in so little time, but I don't think he's quite there yet. When I said it, I really wanted him to know -- but my timing probably wasn't the best. I was just overcome with emotion. Anyway, the next morning, he asked me about what I said and why I said it, and I told him that I meant it. He hummed pensively for a bit and thanked me for sharing. Later in the day, after we'd parted ways and I was on a flight back home -- we're in a long-distance relationship -- he texted me, saying, "Love you, too." It felt forced. I've been a bit distant since then. Should I talk to him about it or just allow this to work itself out? -- Bad Timing
DEAR BAD TIMING: You have been dating for a year. That's long enough to know whether you love someone. Given that you two have made a long-distance commitment of some kind, it seems natural that you would have developed deep feelings for your guy. You are making an effort to stay connected. Don't pull away now. Open up the discussion about how you feel and what you want. How do you envision this relationship unfolding over time? What do you want? Take this opportunity to talk about the future. You don't have to talk marriage, but do discuss what you want for your life and whether the two of you together match those wishes.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My guy and I have been dating for eight months, but he says he doesn't want anything serious. This is my second time breaking it off with him -- or attempting to, anyway, but he continues to reach out and ignore my requests for distance. Is his incessant kindness just masking manipulation? Why does he continue pursuing me relentlessly if we don't want the same things, and why do I keep falling for it? He sends me good-morning texts and prayers every day, remembers each of my milestones and important appointments and we share the same hobbies. In so many ways, he behaves like he is deeply invested in what we have, but he insists he does not want to be in a serious relationship. How do I finally stop confusing his attention with commitment? -- Stuck on Him
DEAR STUCK ON HIM: Tell him in clear terms that you want a committed relationship with him. Point out that his behaviors suggest that he wants that, too, while his words say otherwise. Ask him to respect you enough to walk away if he is unwilling or unable to commit to being with you in the way that you desire. Tell him that you think it is selfish and unkind to go through the motions as if he is your committed partner if in his heart he is not and will not be.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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