Reader Upset By Grandma's Lies
DEAR HARRIETTE: My nana is a gossip. It doesn't matter what type of boundaries you try to establish -- she will inevitably cross them and say something she shouldn't. My mom has a complicated relationship with her, not talking to her as often as my nana deems appropriate. Due to this, my nana assumes and makes up reasons and scenarios. I try not to let her relationship with my mom affect me, but the other day she called me and claimed my mom is depressed and blamed it all on me for moving across state lines. My mom completely denied this and told me she hadn't talked to my nana in months. Before I spoke with my mom, I felt so guilty and cried on the phone. How can I navigate my relationship with my nana, her lies and her gossip? -- Nana Loves To Gossip
DEAR NANA LOVES TO GOSSIP: You know what your Nana is like. Don't get caught up in her drama. Whenever you speak with her, assume that she may be exaggerating. Before you allow yourself to be drawn into her emotional swirl, pause. Take a breath and do a little research. As you learned when you checked in with your mother, the truth is not always what it seems. Tell your nana that it is hard for you to believe her when she distorts the truth so much. When she gets going, step away, tell her you can't talk anymore if you are on the phone or otherwise cease the engagement.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a close relationship with my best friend and her family, having hung around their home for years, gone on trips and celebrated various events with them. After getting home from college, my best friend's parents have accused her of being on the wrong path due to her wanting to try to pursue the arts for a year following college and bringing shame upon their family.
Obviously, my best friend is hurt, especially with them claiming she's bringing shame upon their family because of her social media. She has told her parents that she's moving out and already has a place lined up. Her parents keep trying to reach out to me to convince her to change her mind about everything. I know her relationship with her parents and support her wholeheartedly, but I'm also grateful for everything that her family has done for me, and I don't want to upset them. Do you have any advice on how to handle their family drama? -- Best Friend Family Drama
DEAR BEST FRIEND FAMILY DRAMA: Tell her family that you love them and understand they are suffering right now, but their issue is with their daughter, and you cannot help with that. Likewise, tell your best friend that you love her and want her to have space to pursue her dreams, and you hope she can find a way to make sure her parents know how much she loves them, even if she does not do everything they request. To stay close to her family, you have to draw the line and make it clear that you will not be a referee between them.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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