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Dear Eric: I enjoy one to two glasses of wine in the afternoon. My grandson, five years old, was told by his parents that alcohol is poison. He knows that two of his relatives died from alcohol abuse.

My son requested I not drink when we visited them and I complied. When the family came to my house to visit, I had a glass of wine and my grandson asked why I was drinking poison.

I didn’t know how to respond without contradicting his parents. I don’t feel I should have to alter my behavior in my own home, but I don’t know how to handle this. Can you offer advice?

– Dry Dinner

Dear Dinner: It seems likely that your son has some trauma around the alcohol, possibly related to the deaths of relatives, perhaps not. While it’s normal to teach a child to avoid alcohol and drugs and other things harmful to them, telling a child that young that alcohol killed his relatives suggests that it had and has an intense impact.

So, it might be helpful for you to be especially sensitive to this area as a way of showing compassion to your son. You might even want to talk to him about his feelings regarding alcohol. Is there an underlying conflict between the two of you around the fact that you drink? It’s worth digging into a little bit.

Nonetheless, what you do in your own home is your business. But you do have to acknowledge that even if you’re home, if you have guests, your behavior is going to impact them, too.

You don’t have to alter your behavior with your family, but you probably do have to accept that if your grandson sees you drinking wine, he’s going to ask you why you’re drinking poison. The easiest solution might be to just wait until after they’ve left.

Dear Eric: I admire you and thank you for all the great advice. What can I do about the idiots on early morning talk shows? They all laugh at nonsensical inside jokes. They smile and giggle at dumb remarks and wave their hands around like monkeys in the zoo. Then to aggravate people even more, they look at products sitting on a pedestal as if they are the Hope Diamond. I find it disgusting. To make matters worse, the local TV folks start to imitate their ridiculous antics.

– Bad Morning

Dear Morning: This might come off as curt but … just change the channel. An overly cheery, overly energetic demeanor is baked into the morning show formula. It seems to work for a lot of people. But it’s understandable that it’s grating for you. Fortunately, you’re not required to tune in to them.

Think about what you want to experience in the morning. Maybe you just want news, without a lot of fuss. Then you might try a cable channel or a podcast. Maybe you want celebrity conversation without all that intense happiness. Try replaying a late show from the night before.

Maybe you don’t want to watch TV in the mornings at all. There are plenty of other ways to ease yourself into your day. Television ratings tell broadcasters what’s working and what’s not. If you want to do something about shows you dislike, the most powerful thing you can do is not watch.

Dear Eric: I have a dear friend whom I really enjoy spending time with. My struggle is with her storytelling, which has always been full of details, backstories and insights into the range of emotions she experienced during the event she’s retelling; they’re becoming painfully long.

When I’m on the phone with her, I can often say something like “I have to go in 10 minutes just so you know how much time you have to share” but what can you advise when I’m in person with her?

There is a back and forth in our conversations but her extremely detailed stories at times get me feeling bored and antsy to move the conversation on to another topic. I appreciate any advice you can provide.

– Long Story Short

Dear Story: If she’s able to adjust her storytelling when given the guidance on the phone, it’s likely that she knows she has a habit of spinning Homeric yarns when you’re looking for the Reader’s Digest abridged version. So, in person you can be similarly direct. “Can you tell me the short version of this story?”

One reader, when replying to a letter I received about someone equally verbose, offered this phrase “my brain is full.” I like the imagery. You could use that with your friend as well. You’ve received all the details you can handle, you’re happy to keep talking, but for this particular story, your brain is full and she’s going to have to summarize.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)

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