Ask Amy: Former in-law’s contact riles hurt feelings
I also want to lash out AT her and let her know just exactly how much pain, abuse and toxic behavior her son put me through.
I know it’s not right to do that, but I don’t know how to handle this.
Should I continue to ignore the cards? Send them back, marked “return to sender”,
or should I send her a response, politely telling her goodbye?
– Upset Ex
Dear Ex: It hurt when your former father and sister-in-law respected your ex’s demand and didn’t contact you. Your former mother-in-law is defying her son’s demand. This hurts, too.
It’s like the song says: Love hurts. Lost love hurts more.
Your former mother-in-law may be aware of what a toxic jerk her son is, and this is her way of trying to make amends. Her life might have been better with you on the scene to smooth over the family’s rough dynamic. She might have missed opportunities to defy him and defend you, and she is trying to make up for that now.
Plus, you were part of her family, and she is experiencing a loss that looms very large for her.
You seem indifferent to the possibility that your lack of response is punishing her.
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