Family Film Reviews

NEW THIS WEEK

-- AN ANIMATED 3-D MOTHER-LOVE PARABLE THAT'S A TAD TOO SCARY FOR UNDER-8s:

"MARS NEEDS MOMS" PG -- This tale of a boy realizing how much his mom loves him is touching and often amusing, but it's based on the threat and fear of losing one's mom. So "Mars Needs Moms" can also be grim, scary and too intense for many kids under 8. For sheer inventiveness, wit and beauty, the non-3-D "Rango" (PG) has it beat by a mile. Still, it's not without a fun factor for kids 8 and up. A 9-year-old boy named Milo (voice of Seth Green) who doesn't like doing chores or eating broccoli (he gives it to the cat, who vomits) has harsh words with his mom (Joan Cusack), and before he can apologize, she's abducted by a Martian spaceship. Milo stows away on the ship as it takes off. On Mars he discovers a highly structured, female-dominated civilization, all underground. Martian females are not the mothering kind. Babies are hatched and raised by "nanny-bots." The Martians plan to drain all the mothering information from Milo's mom's brain to program the nanny-bots. The film is based on a 2007 book by comic-strip legend Berkeley Breathed ("Bloom County," "Outland," "Opus"), and it uses "motion-capture" techniques in which live actors play most of the characters, their physical selves digitally incorporated into the animated environment. Milo must rescue his mom so he gets help from Gribble (Dan Fogler), a lonely man-child whose mom was also snatched. Gribble grew up solo, inventing stuff and hiding from Martian guards. Help also comes from a Martian girl named Ki (Elisabeth Harnois), a rebellious graffiti-artist into 1960s Earth culture.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Milo is perpetually falling, falling, falling off high places. Though he's nearly weightless on Mars and isn't hurt, it's still visually scary. Also, the males in Martian society are dreadlocked and relegated to working on a huge trash heap. The portrayal seems oddly and pointlessly racial, but only adults are likely to notice. The Martian guards have laser guns and threaten the protagonists.

-- AN UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEREWOLF TAKE ON THE OLD FAIRY TALE:

"RED RIDING HOOD" PG-13 -- High-schoolers may find it impossible not to giggle through this pseudo-serious horror/thriller. The film's violence is relatively understated, but there is a strong sexual attraction theme that may be inappropriate for middle-schoolers. Amanda Seyfried (made up with red lipstick, as if MAC cosmetics were available 800 years ago) plays Valerie, younger sister of a girl killed by a werewolf in a snowy medieval village called Daggerhorn. The locals had maintained peace with the marauding creature by offering animal sacrifices, until this new attack. A clerical "werewolf hunter" named Father Solomon (Gary Oldman) arrives, but his brutal treatment of the townsfolk (one young man is tortured to death, "cooked" in a metal contraption over a fire -- not graphic) and his miscalculations about the werewolf end in disaster. The werewolf stops in the middle of one attack on the village and speaks to Valerie. Since she, and only she, can understand it, Valerie is immediately suspected of witchcraft. Father Solomon uses her as bait to bring the werewolf close enough to kill it. Valerie's would-be lover Peter (Shiloh Fernandez) and her jealous ex-fiancee Henry (Max Irons) team up to help her escape. Her ne'er-do-well father (Billy Burke, Bella's dad in the "Twilight' films) and worldly grandmother (Julie Christie) also figure centrally as the mystery of the creature unfolds. Catherine Hardwicke, who directed the first "Twilight," PG-13, 2008 teen vampire film, also directed this, which has many similarities, some of them unfortunately laughable.

THE BOTTOM LINE: The werewolf attacks are quite stylized and not especially graphic, but there is considerable spattered blood and images of severed hands, and of bloody tissue that could be human or animal. Fights include fatal stabbings and axings. The attraction between Valerie and Peter is highly sexual, and at least one situation becomes very steamy for a PG-13, though not technically explicit.

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-- OK FOR KIDS 6 AND OLDER:

"GNOMEO & JULIET" G -- Shakespeare's play takes a riotous turn among garden gnomes and even gets a happy ending in this computer-animated 3-D treat. Kids 6 and older and their parents should bliss out on "Gnomeo & Juliet." It is "drawn" with a droll mix of realism and colorful exaggeration and laced with old and new Elton John tunes. Human next-door neighbors Mr. Capulet and Miss Montague have feuded for years and the gnomes in their respective gardens reflect that. The young males even drag-race power mowers -- though of course, the gnome world only comes to life when humans are not around. One night, Juliet (voice of Emily Blunt) creeps out of the red Capulet garden, where she lives with her gnome family, to steal a flower. She encounters Gnomeo (James McAvoy), of the blue Montague garden. It's love at first sight, but their romance wreaks gnomish havoc. Patrick Stewart is fun as the voice of a Shakespeare statue come to life, trying to explain that the story is supposed to be a tragedy.

THE BOTTOM LINE: The script includes mildly grown-up gags, such as "I'm not illiterate -- my parents were married!" In general, the humor and sexual innuendo are mild and the G-rating justified, but the occasional property-and-gnome-shattering lawn-mower races could perhaps unsettle the youngest kids. Injured gnomes do get repaired. There is a subtle suicide reference to the play -- "took his own life."

-- OK FOR KIDS 8 AND OLDER:

"RANGO" PG -- Kids 8 and older and their parents will delight in "Rango," a wildly inventive animated Western that is both homage and spoof. Better yet, it looks like it's in by-gum 3-D, even though it isn't -- no annoying glasses or darkened screen, and stunning depth in every frame. A showbiz-loving pet chameleon (voice of Johnny Depp) is separated from his owners in a desert highway mishap. On the advice of a run-over armadillo, he wanders into a town called Dirt, populated by a wonderment of desert critters. Using his acting skills, he dubs himself Rango and becomes the new sheriff. He has fun until he discovers that Dirt's mayor, a wily turtle (Ned Beatty), may be part of a water-stealing plot that will strangle the town. Rango must save Dirt and win over a cute girl lizard named Beans (Isla Fisher). For about three-quarters of its length, "Rango" is a treat, rich in visual and character humor for kids, and witty allusions to classic Westerns for adults. But near the end there is a battle that goes on too long and becomes a little too violent for under-8s -- perhaps even for some kids between 8 and 10.

THE BOTTOM LINE: The PG rating is tested in the battle scene, when bad guys of an indeterminate species fly into the fray on huge bats -- quite creepy. The dialogue makes repeated use of the word "hell," and at least one "damn." The excellent script goes over kids' heads at times, but in a good way -- with great words that adults can easily explain. The film ends with an unsubtle but compelling message about not hoarding water.

"JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER" G -- Pop star Justin Bieber's 8-and-older fans will love this backstage peek at his life. The 3-D "documentary"/marketing video traces Bieber's start as a talented toddler, crooning and playing drums on home videos, to his YouTube breakthrough, to the 2010 North American tour that culminated in a sold-out Madison Square Garden concert. It portrays the Canadian-bred idol as a squeaky-clean, super-nice kid who wants to be a star without losing what's left of his childhood -- he turned 17 this month. His family, manager, vocal coach, security guy and others on his team seem genuinely fond of Bieber, and it is they, not he, who tell the story of his rise to fame. Bieber's mentor, Usher, makes cameo appearances, along with Miley Cyrus, Jaden Smith, Boys II Men, Ludacris and others. It's tough to know how much to believe of such a slick promo, but Bieber is undoubtedly talented, and his fans as obsessed as 1960s Beatlemaniacs.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Someone makes a reference to "making out," but in an innocent way. The language is truly G-rated, and we never see anyone drink anything other than water, soda or juice. Mild sexual innuendo might be inferred from some onstage dance moves.

-- PG-13s:

"BEASTLY" -- Teen audiences may have trouble taking this magical looks-aren't-everything saga totally seriously, but that doesn't mean they won't have fun watching it despite the film's unintentionally giggly moments. Based on a novel for young people by Alex Flinn, riffing on the old "Beauty and the Beast" tale, "Beastly" tells the story of Kyle (Alex Pettyfer), a vain and mean-spirited prep-school hunk. His TV anchorman dad (Peter Krause) is the same. Fed up with Kyle's arrogance, Kendra (Mary-Kate Olsen), a Goth-style witch in his class, puts a spell on him. He becomes bald, tattooed and scarred -- though more artfully than spookily. If a girl tells Kyle she loves him within a year, he'll change back. Kyle's father hides his son in a secluded house and hires a blind tutor (Neil Patrick Harris, who lends a little fizz to this flat film). Riding the streets on a motorcycle, a hooded Kyle rescues a girl from his old school, Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens), and her dad, from street thugs. Lindy saw the bad guys, so Kyle tells her dad to deliver her to his house where she can hide out and study with his tutor. Kyle is already in love with Lindy, but she does not yet recognize him, or sense his good heart.

THE BOTTOM LINE: The script includes crude, sexualized and belittling epithets, though they're not technically profane. However, some mild profanity also turns up. Kyle and Lindy get one nearly passionate kiss, but no sexual situations. Nongraphic but lethal street violence takes place, and a subplot deals with Lindy's father's drug addiction.

"THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU" -- For teens who like movies laced with intellect and wit and not stuck in perpetual overdrive, "The Adjustment Bureau" is the ticket. Its mix of science fiction, spirituality, romance and visual inventiveness make it a fine date flick. Matt Damon plays gifted New York politician David Norris, who has a habit of spoiling his own chances by getting into bar fights or mouthing off. On the eve of a senatorial election that looks dire, he meets Elise (Emily Blunt), a charming dancer/choreographer who makes him not care about losing. David loses her number but tries frantically to find her again. Then he learns something amazing: He cannot re-connect with Elise because he's not meant to. Mysterious men who dress like 1950s FBI agents and have powers that defy physics have been following him. Because of a goof by one of them, they must intercede directly to prevent David and Elise from connecting. The team leader (John Slattery) explains that a romance with Elise is not in the current Plan as written for all of humanity by an unseen Chairman. David tries to fight these enforcers of fate. Teens may want to read the short story by science-fiction writer Philip K. Dick that inspired the film.

THE BOTTOM LINE: A genuine PG-13 that's fine for most teens, "The Adjustment Bureau" includes nonsexual profanity and crude language; a nongraphic but slightly steamy -- and unmarried -- sexual situation with implied nudity; and nonviolent but harrowing chases. The film's concept of fate and a higher power that controls it may offend some religious beliefs.

"THE GRACE CARD" -- This parable about grief, friendship and forgiveness could have been a strong, stand-alone drama, but the filmmakers chose to give it a clear Christian focus, which turns the movie into an occasional sermon and detracts from it artistically. Still, this aspect may move teen audiences who come from that religious tradition. And much in the story will affect other teens on sheer dramatic and moral grounds. "Mac" McDonald (Michael Joiner) is a bitter Memphis cop, still grieving over the accidental death of his young son many years before. His wife and surviving teenage boy -- who has his own problems -- get nothing but angry words from Mac. His new partner, Sam (Michael Higgenbottom), who moonlights as a preacher and has his own church, is unable to help Mac let go of his grief and anger. Racism on Mac's part also sours the partnership. A heavy-handed plot twist creates a crisis that forces Mac, with Sam's help, to open his heart to God and grace.

THE BOTTOM LINE: As it involves cops on an urban beat, the film does depict street violence and gunplay, as well as scenes of upsetting family arguments that nearly become violent. Some characters are deeply depressed and self-destructive. Mac drinks a lot.

"BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON" -- Young actor/comedian Brandon T. Jackson joins forces with Martin Lawrence in this second sequel (following "Big Momma's House," 2000; and "Big Momma's House 2," 2006, both PG-13s), but there's not enough of Jackson as a wannabe rap star, or of the other young cast members performing pop songs, to automatically reel in teen audiences. Nor is the action or the comedy all that much. Still, some teens may be amused. Atlanta-based FBI agent Malcolm (Martin Lawrence) is thrilled when his stepson Trent (Jackson) is accepted at Duke University. But Trent wants to skip college and rap. He follows Malcolm to a stakeout and inadvertently witnesses a murder. Now the killers are after Trent, as well as a stolen flash drive that Malcolm learns is hidden in a performing arts high school for girls. Malcolm goes undercover as Big Momma and gets hired as a house mother. He disguises Trent as "Charmaine" and enrolls "her." Trent falls for music prodigy Haley (Jessica Lucas), which causes complications.

THE BOTTOM LINE: The PG-13 reflects the sexual innuendo and toilet humor that emerge when Trent tries to be "Charmaine" and hide the fact that he is attracted to Haley. Similar innuendo emerges when a security guard flirts with Big Momma. Scenes of violence and mayhem, which include a gun murder, nonlethal gunplay and fights, are understated. The language sticks to occasional low-grade profanity.

"UNKNOWN" -- High-schoolers who like spy sagas may buy happily into this espionage-and-assassination thriller, with its middle-aged star and nicotine-stained homage to Cold War cloak-and-dagger. The violence is awfully graphic for a PG-13, making it iffy for middle-schoolers. Liam Neeson plays a biologist, Dr. Martin Harris, who flies to Berlin to deliver a speech at a science summit. As his wife (January Jones) checks into the hotel, he realizes he left his briefcase at the airport. He jumps into a cab and heads back, but the cab is in an accident. Days later he awakens in a hospital, his memory shaky and his ID gone. When Martin returns to the hotel, his wife does not acknowledge him and claims her husband has never left her side (Aidan Quinn plays the "new" Martin). Neeson's Martin questions his own sanity, then gradually realizes he is under threat. He gets help from a former East German secret policeman (Bruno Ganz) and the cabdriver from the accident (Diane Kruger). The film gets a bit ponderous at the end, but it's still a neat thriller.

THE BOTTOM LINE: The violence covers a snapped neck, stabbings, tire-iron thwacks, gunplay, a big explosion and dizzying car chases. The intensity approaches R territory. However, the muted marital sexual innuendo, drinking, smoking and mild verbal epithets stay in PG-13 range.

"I AM NUMBER FOUR" -- Lots of teens will scoff at the pseudo-seriousness and implausibility of this clunky sci-fi saga. Yet some could find it marginally entertaining -- a weird hybrid of teen romance and supernatural hoo-ha. A handsome high-school loner, using the alias "John Smith" (Alex Pettyfer), is actually from outer space, hiding from the Voldemortish intergalactic conquerors called Mogadorians who destroyed his planet. They are coming after "John" and other survivors hiding on Earth. John and his guardian Henri (Timothy Olyphant) move a lot, change their names, and try to blend in. Then John's warrior superpowers start to manifest themselves and he finds it tough to keep them in check. At his latest high school, he falls for Sarah (Dianna Agron), and must take her into his confidence as the alien killers approach. Humans and extraterrestrials engage in the final battle.

THE BOTTOM LINE: The script features occasional midrange profanity and mild sexual innuendo, but the key PG-13 ingredient is violence. The mayhem includes not only lethal supernatural zapping and torture -- the Mogadorians forcing humans to swallow lethal blades (no blood) -- but also fights, gunplay and an unsettling haunted house, with fake severed heads and corpses. A high-school bully also gets screen time.

"JUST GO WITH IT" -- This kinda-sorta-sex-comedy is meant to warm the heart, but most of the time it is merely crude, and often awkwardly ad-libbed rather than scripted. It is not great fare for middle-schoolers. Adam Sandler plays Danny, a rich plastic surgeon who protects himself from heartbreak by wearing a fake wedding ring and pretending he's unhappily married. This attracts younger women who don't expect entanglements and can't hurt him. Then he falls for Palmer (Brooklyn Decker), a gorgeous schoolteacher who doubts his story. He convinces his office assistant, Katherine (Jennifer Aniston), a divorcee with two kids, to pose as his soon-to-be-ex. When Katherine accidentally mentions her children, they have to be hers and Danny's, so Palmer insists on meeting them. This leads to a friendly group jaunt to Hawaii for no reason at all.

THE BOTTOM LINE: The comedy features much toilet humor, implied toplessness, homophobic jokes and crude verbal and visual sexual innuendo of all kinds. Most disturbing, Katherine's young kids are forced to speak jaded, out-of-character adult sentiments for cheap laughs. The language, however, is relatively mild, except for a couple of S-words.

-- R's:

"DRIVE ANGRY" -- The blood, guts, sexuality and sheer bloody-mindedness of "Drive Angry" make this occult 3-D action thriller, which is not without humor and excitement, a very heavy-duty R, and not for under-17s. Nicolas Cage plays Milton, a convict who has already died and gone to hell. He escapes long enough to avenge the murder of his daughter by a satanic cult, and, he hopes, to rescue his infant granddaughter. The cult leader (Billy Burke) has abducted the child and plans to kill her as a sacrifice. An otherworldly operative called The Accountant (William Fichtner) is on Milton's tail, bent on hauling him back to hell. Meanwhile, Milton hooks up in a paternal way with a waitress, Piper (Amber Heard), who joins his quest, burning rubber in muscle cars as they chase the cult. (He hooks up sexually with someone else.) It takes a while for Piper to get why Milton seems unkillable.

THE BOTTOM LINE: A heavy-duty R and not for under-17s, "Drive Angry" shows ultraviolent gunplay, highly explicit sexual situations and much nudity -- all of this in 3-D, keep in mind. The story hinges on an infant in perpetual danger. The profanity is also very strong.

"HALL PASS" -- Teens 17 and older who are mature enough to handle crude sexual humor -- and don't mind it -- may get a charge out of the intermittently funny, always lewd, very adult "Hall Pass." Of course, it's about people not unlike their parents having sexual misadventures, which could be an "ewwwwww!" factor for some. Best-buddy milquetoasts Rick (Owen Wilson) and Fred (Jason Sudeikis) like to eyeball the ladies when they think their wives aren't looking. They're childlishly sex-obsessed. Rick's loving wife Maggie (Jenna Fischer) decides to give Rick a week off from marriage, no questions asked. Then Fred's wife Grace (Christina Applegate) does the same for him. But when the two men start hunting for hook-ups, they have no idea where to start and how not to act like dorks.

THE BOTTOM LINE: In no way for teens under 17, the film contains male frontal nudity, explicitly implied sexual situations (no nudity, but graphically pantomimed), and crude slang for sex acts and (mostly female) sex organs. Fred gets caught by police for masturbating in his car. There is also profanity, but not as strong as the sexual slang. Characters get high on marijuana brownies and drink. The preachy, pro-marriage ending seems tacked-on and cynical, given all that's gone before.