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Q: I'm not proud of the fact that I was pretty wild in my younger years. Now my teenage son is asking questions about my past. How open should I be about things I regret?

Jim: This is a common question -- and dilemma -- for many parents. In most cases, generally speaking, "less is more." But the driving consideration should always be: "What's in the best interest of your child?"

While truthfulness and transparency are critical, the detail of any confession should be guided by several factors. You'll want to consider not only your child's maturity but also his motivation. Is he specifically requesting that you reveal personal information -- as in, "Did you do drugs or steal or have sex when you were in high school?" If not, there's really no good reason to volunteer particulars. If he's trying to elicit facts about your past history, how is your story likely to be used? A rebellious teen might try stockpiling ammunition to be used against the authority figures in his life; if you think that's the case, proceed with caution.

On the other hand, if a child is sincerely reaching out for empathy and guidance for a personal struggle, it could help to reveal some of your own human weaknesses. This can be a unique teaching opportunity to share valuable wisdom drawn from real-life, hard-won experience. You can humbly say: "I fell into that trap when I was young -- and here's why I don't want to see you make the same mistake." By bringing your personal failings out into the open, you can show a struggling teen exactly what it means to change course and, through faith, redeem the errors of the past. This can add credibility to your warnings and positively impact your child's future in ways you can't possibly predict.

Q: My husband and I have been happily married for more than 40 years. We raised three kids, love being grandparents, and are active in church and civic activities. Our life is good. But we want to keep strengthening our relationship even more. Do you have any suggestions?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: For starters, I want to sincerely thank you for the example you have set. In this culture where almost everything is "disposable" -- including relationships, in some people's minds -- your faithfulness to each other provides a shining light of encouragement to all of us who are trying to make our own marriages the best they can be.

And I think that might actually be your answer. The old saying goes that "the best way to master a subject is to teach it." In other words, when we seriously apply ourselves to learning a collection of material or a skill so that we can pass it on to someone else, we better grasp and retain that knowledge ourselves.

Here's the point: You and your husband have obviously learned to communicate and work together as a team -- you couldn't have made it this far without those skills. Now I'll encourage you to come alongside younger couples and mentor them in these same principles. Countless other marriages could benefit from what you can demonstrate. And most of us are readily willing to listen to someone whose life experience has helped them successfully navigate the ups and downs of a long journey together.

So, I'd suggest that you find some younger couples to mentor -- maybe even just one to start with. You might even consider joining (or starting) a marriage mentoring program in your church; see FocusOnTheFamily.com/Marriage-Ministry.

I'll predict that as you pour into others, you'll be "recharged" in your own relationship. You might even find that their energy rubs off on you, making you feel younger, too!

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2026 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.