Home & Leisure
The Bizarre Failure of Conservatives To Quit When They're Ahead
June is Pride Month, so it's officially time for conservatives to lose their minds in an orgy of antigay bigotry not-that-convincingly disguised as traditional morality.
The influx of GOP rage directed at anything with a rainbow on it comes hot on the heels of an effort to take down Target for its Pride-themed merchandise. And that ...Read more
Smoking's Long, Slow Slide Into Oblivion
It's become common at the start of movies and TV shows to show a list of all the various ways the content contained therewithin is inappropriate for children.
You're warned about any stray cursing and sexual activity, violence and self-harm, but the one that always blows me away is the warning about smoking. It's shocking -- not because ...Read more
Remembrance of Childhood Illnesses Past
Our house has once more laid low, this time by the dual demons of injury and illness.
I'm hobbled, recovering from knee surgery, and the boys have been cycling through waxing and waning phases of never-ending coughs. Then, they both got strep, which in some ways is great because we can give them antibiotics and push them out the door to ...Read more
Technology Tricks Us, but We Are Our Own Best Gadgets
I recently forgot that I have a neck.
It happened as I backed out of a grocery store parking space. I noticed my car's rearview camera lens was so dirty that I could no longer see through it.
I started to panic, worried I was going to hit someone.
But I was already halfway out of the spot! It was hopeless! What could I do?
"Wait," I ...Read more
What's Greek Easter When You Have the Other Kind?
The other night, my kids ate corn dogs and feta cheese for dinner.
That might seem odd unless I add that I am, and they therefore also are, Greek.
Growing up, feta was always on our table. It was ever-present, like salt, or napkins. If we ate fried chicken, there was feta. Spaghetti? Feta. Steak? Feta.
My dad was in town recently, and ...Read more
If My Kids Ask About Trump, Here's What I'll Say
One day, I'll explain to my sons why Donald Trump was charged with a crime.
Well, 34 crimes, to be exact, but several alleged actions of increasing stupidity with just one aim: Hiding from the public his nature as an inveterate creep. Now, true, being a shameless philanderer isn't illegal, nor is paying someone off. But you know what is? ...Read more
A Trip to the Aquarium -- Borderline Educational, Seriously Expensive
It's spring break and the kids are home from school, so I recently decided to drop the equivalent of a decent-sized car payment on a trip to the aquarium.
I'd signed them up for a camp for a couple of hours a day, but after that was canceled, we were left with only screen-based diversions.
"Why does it keep saying 'We'll be right back'?" my ...Read more
Mediocre People Need Influencers, Too
I wish there were influencers for the rest of us: We the imperfect. We the mediocre. We the normal.
That's what occurred to me lately as I watched famed influencer/actress/dieter Gwyneth Paltrow discuss what she eats (or, more accurately, doesn't eat) in a typical day.
In the video, she said she fasts until noon. Before then, she drinks ...Read more
If You're Giving Away Bailouts, I'll Take One, Please
Dear Sirs (one assumes),
What follows is my official application to be included in the billions of dollars in bailouts -- I'm sorry, "debt relief" -- planned for the Silicon Valley banks that failed after engaging in risky tech industry loans, dumb cryptocurrency investments and faulty assumptions about interest rate hikes.
I have read recent ...Read more
Midwestern Weather: The Worst, Other Than Everywhere Else
It's a cold March day in the Midwest, with fresh-fallen snow on the ground, and this is about the time every year when I consider grabbing the family and absconding to some southern climate, escaping like a thief in the night to any place you don't have to have to wear snowshoes on spring break.
Yes, the winter weather (and sometimes the fall ...Read more