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Meeting at the Crossroads

Parents / Georgia Garvey /

Autumn, like all good art, is about death.

That's what I found myself thinking as I read the comments on Bone Thugs-N-Harmony's "Tha Crossroads" video on YouTube.

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony is a rap group from the 1990s, though I'm mostly familiar with their oeuvre based on what I could pick up through the walls separating my teenage room from that ...Read more

The Pandemic Is Over but the Sickness Has Just Begun

Parents / Georgia Garvey /

The pandemic is over.

How do I know?

Not because COVID has gone away -- no, I realize that many are still getting sick and even dying from the virus -- and not because we no longer mask up or get booster shots (in fact, I just wore a mask at the doctor's office today and am scheduling family boosters for next month).

No, I know the pandemic ...Read more

The New Beatitudes

Parents / Georgia Garvey /

Blessed art the millionaires, for a million dollars does not goeth as far as it used to.

Blessed art the governors of Florida and Texas, for they owneth the libs in the most Christlike way possible when they droppeth off desperate migrants, starving and exhausted, in blue cities for publicity stunts, treating human beings as props in political ...Read more

Who's the Queen? (And Other Fake Questions That Were Never Asked)

Parents / Georgia Garvey /

The following is a wholly fabricated, fictitious conversation between a college professor and his students on Sept. 8, 2022, shortly after the Royal Family announced the death of Queen Elizabeth II.

TEACHER: Class, I have bad news for you all. We've just learned that someone tremendously influential has died.

STUDENT A: Oh, no! From ...Read more

Back to School, Back to the Everyday Miseries of Childhood

Parents / Georgia Garvey /

The kids are back to school.

I know that because today, for the first time in three months, I worked out.

Yes, I know that I could and should work out even when the kids are home. But I also shouldn't be eating leftover mac and cheese and cold chicken nuggets for dinner and, sorry to say, that just happens sometimes. In parenting, exhaustion ...Read more

Student Loan Forgiveness Is Deranging Republican Politicians

Parents / Georgia Garvey /

Our country is suffering through a gigantic Republican freakout right now, one precipitated by the news that President Joe Biden has announced the student loan forgiveness of up to $20,000 per borrower.

The freakout -- let's call it "Student Loan Derangement Syndrome" -- has taken several forms.

Chief among them are the over-the-top ...Read more

Treasure Hunting on Vacation

Parents / Georgia Garvey /

I came home from Greece with a bag full of rocks.

I brought back more than I should have, but considering the giant pile I'd amassed before we left, far fewer than I wanted.

I measured the time we were there by my rock collection, which grew, slowly some days and rapidly others.

When my kids grew tired of the beach, or when they seemed to be ...Read more

For the Perfect Summer Vacation, Just Add Time

Parents / Georgia Garvey /

For children, vacations pass in a haze of pleasantness.

Distance and inconvenience disappear into a fog of naps, snacks and entertainment, and they never have to remember to check the plane's seatback pocket. They don't see a check at a restaurant, examine the line items on a hotel bill or set an alarm to make an early flight.

I, however, am ...Read more

Banish the Chaos -- At Least for a Little While

Parents / Georgia Garvey /

In Greece, members of parliament come from dozens of political parties, varying on the spectrum from neo-fascists with logos eerily evocative of swastikas to Putin-sympathetic communists.

You might call it chaotic, with some seats occupied by fringe extremists and parties forced to align with those with whom they share only a loose ...Read more

What if One Picture Changed Your Life?

Parents / Georgia Garvey /

Let's say you've seen a picture, one that shows a curly-haired toddler, his eyes glazed with confusion as he sits on a stranger's lap.

Let's say the Highland Park police release the photo publicly, disseminating it far and wide, trying to find the boy's parents. Maybe you wonder, "What could have kept his parents from him?"

Let's say you ...Read more

 

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Marvin Curtis Agnes Adam Zyglis Dan Wasserman Christopher Weyant