Family Considers Multigenerational Living
Q: My aged mother is not doing well. We're strongly considering bringing her into our home rather than placing her in a care facility. But we still have three children living with us. How might this impact our family dynamics?
Jim: It will likely be a big impact -- and you should be prepared for blessings as well as challenges. On the plus side, you'll have the practical and emotional support of the whole family participating in meeting your mother's needs. There's the potential of experiencing a strong sense of family unity and cohesiveness as you share in the caregiving responsibilities.
There are also potential benefits for your children as they experience firsthand the importance of sacrifice and service in the interest of others. Plus, it's an opportunity for them to develop a special relationship with their grandmother.
However -- on the other side, your family's regular routines will undoubtedly be affected. Your children's social lives will probably be disrupted, and their personal freedom may be restricted in some ways. At times, you and your spouse will be caught between the competing needs of your kids and your mother, while your own frequently take a back seat. This is what people have in mind when they talk about the "Sandwich Generation."
Obviously, there's a lot here to prayerfully consider as you assess the equally legitimate questions of your responsibility to your mom and your family's well-being. In short, there are no simple solutions to the challenges you'll encounter if you take her in. It will involve a delicate balancing act and place you in a position where you'll have no choice except to rely on the grace and wisdom of the Lord from one moment to the next. And that's a good place to be.
We're here to help; see FocusOnTheFamily.com.
Q: My children seem to be anxious -- a lot. How can I help them?
Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Anxious feelings are something all kids must learn to navigate. To help them, you should know that:
-- Anxious feelings are driven by how we interpret reality.
-- They occur automatically and often unexpectedly.
-- They can be created by experiences, biology, perceptions and overall personality.
-- As we mature and get older, the brain either adapts and learns to manage anxious feelings ... or becomes more and more controlled by them.
Feelings provide important input for thoughts and decisions. But they usually don't deliver enough information to produce an appropriate response. We all have to learn to interpret our experiences and thoughts properly.
For example, if a child is very anxious about being rejected, she is most likely expecting -- and is hypersensitive to -- signs of rejection. Her thoughts ("I'm not good enough") can produce anxious feelings when she's with others. That insecurity can be self-fulfilling ... until she learns that her value is not dependent on other people's input, and she can confidently thrive in her unique giftings.
Thoughts and feelings dance together. Help your kids see the "thought themes" that anxious feelings can create, and what thoughts may be creating their anxious feelings. Help your child learn how to bring truth to their thoughts. For instance, some kids are afraid of the dark, but darkness doesn't necessarily mean danger.
Teach your children how to know and communicate their limits. Kids shouldn't be forced to satisfy competing anxious feelings. As an example, a child might be afraid of heights but may also be anxious about looking weak when their friends are climbing higher. Kids can learn to stretch their boundaries in healthy ways and develop limits that are based on freedom -- freedom from needing to impress or gain acceptance, as well as freedom to step forward and conquer their anxious feelings.
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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.
Copyright 2026 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.








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