Reader Dislikes Friend's Partner
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my closest friends has been in an off-and-on relationship with someone I don't think is the best for them. I do not often give my opinion on my friendsÕ partners, as it is not my place to critique their relationships, but I have seen this person make my friend feel awful on one too many occasions for me to be OK with their partnership. My friend has spent years working on their emotional development, but this relationship often leaves them feeling like they haven't done enough. I want to tell them to call this quits for good; however, I do not want to overstep my place as a friend. How do I tell my friend to get out without seeming judgmental or disapproving? -- Leave Him
DEAR LEAVE HIM: Unfortunately, you cannot get your friend to leave this person. Your words may have little impact on your friend as long their partner's presence is in their blood, so to speak. If your friend asks for your opinion, be ready to share it, but donÕt volunteer your thoughts without permission.
What you can do is to ask your friend to think about their future. Tell them you are doing this for yourself now as well. Use these questions to guide your steps: What do you want for your life in the next five to 10 years? How do you envision your future: marriage, children, career? What is standing in your way, if anything? Who or what is standing in your way? What can you do today to manifest the future you want for yourself? Thinking through these questions may help your friend to reflect on their choices today.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a creative professional looking to make a career pivot to a more stable part of my industry. I'm looking to move away from curating and creating art and into finance management for art institutions. My career is still in its early stages, and I am confident in the pivot, as I will continue to independently create while being able to make a livable wage. My only concern with this change is communicating such a drastic shift to my inner circles of friends and colleagues who have been extremely supportive of my creative journey. I'm considering waiting to tell them until I begin my professional examinations, but they may feel like I'm leaving them in the dark. How do I communicate this career pivot with confidence while letting them know I appreciate all the support they have given my previous endeavors? -- Pivot
DEAR PIVOT: You have to live your life, and itÕs smart to think about the future and how you can care for yourself and continue to pursue your passion. Set yourself up for success in your new area of focus, and then reveal to loved ones what your plan is. Acknowledge that it is a shift -- one that you believe will be sustainable over time. Use their encouragement for your art creation to keep that part of you active, but do not feel any shame for your pivot. This may not be the last time your career changes. Life has many twists and turns. Pay attention and do what you must to manage your life.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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