ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a mom of four teenagers, and so am at the grocery store quite frequently. The hardworking employees who try to balance the number of people in line often ask me to go to the express line even if I have a few too many items.

I have had to start telling them no, I will not, because so many people have been openly nasty to ...Read more

Dear Annie: I was abused by my dad as a child, and my relationship with my mother was hell growing up. She was verbally and physically abusive toward me well into my 20s. She began a new relationship and things got worse. The situation between us got a little better when she became sick and I had to take care of her. My siblings didn't pitch in,...Read more

DEAR ABBY: It seems I am a human landfill into which people dump their trauma. I'm not sure how this happened. It started three years ago, when an estranged friend called me and talked for more than an hour about what had led to him getting fired from his job. I was touched that he had reached out, and I expected us to resume our friendship, but...Read more

As regular readers know, that's no typo. "Undependence" is my word for wholeness, the ability to be comfortably alone with oneself -- not all the time and not as a way of life but definitely when the alternative is boring or disagreeable company. But this society feels uncomfortable when we're not paired off two by two, because it sees aloneness...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been infatuated with someone for far too long -- years, actually. Recently, though, I have come to see this man for who he is: an opportunist, a user, someone who thinks mostly about himself. This hurts to realize, but it also helps me create some distance. I heard from him recently, and I wasn't as responsive as usual. He...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When dining out, it seems that the latest way for the server to take the order and present the bill is via an electronic tablet. I'm fine with the ordering part, but not with the billing.

First, in many cases, the server comes to your table and simply gives you an amount that you owe, and then stands there and waits for the ...Read more

Dear Annie: My own experience tells me that your advice to Starving Wife may have overlooked another possibility.

I lived for years with what Starving Wife is experiencing. My sexual relationship began with my husband when he was 42 and I was 45. Our sexual relationship was good until we married three years later. Alas, he "just wasn't ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I need a second opinion. My grandfather sold me an old farmstead that has been in the family for 200 years. Last week, he showed me a wooded area behind the barn with a human skull. He told me that when his father died more than 50 years ago, he was curious about how long it would take a body to decompose, so he left his body in the ...Read more

Dear Annie: I am very confused. I have a friend who is 70 and is in the hospital. She has put a mutual friend, "Dorothy," down as her daughter. She has a son, but he is a man-child.

Our friend Dorothy has so many obligations as it is. Dorothy and I are close, and we are similar ages. I do not have siblings, since my brother passed away at a ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've always had a clear picture in my mind of what I want in a partner and for my future. A recent conversation with a friend has left me questioning whether my standards are perhaps too high, especially considering my age.

First, I've always imagined my engagement ring as a symbol of not just love, but also of financial ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Because of COVID, we had not been having our regular family and friends Seder. We were happy to restart the occasion and had a rather large gathering.

During the Seder, one of the family began an online call at the table with a missing relative who was invited but declined, as they lived out of state. This call lasted 10 to ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: After 28 years, my wife left me "to find herself." She says she doesn't want a divorce; she just needs time and space to work on herself, but she also wants to work on our marriage. She doesn't want to talk, text or contact me.

My question is, how are we supposed to work on our marriage with no contact? What am I supposed to do? I ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: As a first-year college student experiencing communal living for the first time, I am grappling with the challenges of sharing a room. I am increasingly frustrated with my roommate; after I granted her access to my belongings once, she consistently uses them. The same goes for my food and groceries, leaving me feeling taken ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Through no one's fault, I was born on the worst date ever.

Each birth anniversary, there's a well-meaning but hurtful practical joke. Everyone -- family, friends, teachers, co-workers, boyfriends -- thinks they're the first person to play their joke and expects me to laugh. Because I love them, I try to play along, but it ...Read more

Dear Annie: My longtime friend seems to be outspoken when I'm around her lately. I have a nervous habit of biting my nails, and when my friend is at my house, she yells at me to stop doing that, saying it's disgusting. It made me angry and hurt to be yelled at in my own house, but I only replied, "It's a nervous habit."

Aside from that, she ...Read more