We Are Not Wasting Donuts Today. Or Ever
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Whenever someone brings donuts into the office, there are always a few people who cut a donut in half and leave one half in the box.
I feel this is rude, as it is unappetizing to see food that has been cut up and left. I understand they only want half a donut, but I feel they should take the whole thing and throw half away, or offer it to someone who wants the other half. I don't want to eat someone else's half donut.
Is it polite and appropriate to cut up communal food on a serving platter or box and leave half?
GENTLE READER: Sorry, but as long as a knife is used or the cut is otherwise clean, Miss Manners sees nothing wrong with leaving half a donut. Throwing the other half away is wasteful, and trying to find an immediate taker for it would be tedious.
As consolation, perhaps you can start a movement to have your co-workers bring donut holes to work instead.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do you tell someone their pants are too thin?
GENTLE READER: Meaning what? Too tight? Too narrow? Too see-through?
Miss Manners is not sure why she is bothering to clarify because any of the three -- weight, fashion sense or poor eyesight -- would be equally impolite to mention. Unless there is a real problem, such as body parts being unknowingly exposed, you should remain silent. Your opinion on any of these matters is not required.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband is extremely medically sensitive, to the point that he cannot be inside most buildings for more than about 15 minutes. The indoor air quality of all but the most hyper-clean buildings causes him long-term inflammation.
Our fourth grader has his first piano recital coming up. My parents were the ones to sign him up for lessons and have been driving him. My husband and I would like to support our son, but can't afford to compromise my husband's health over it.
There are some things he can do, like wear a respirator and take medication immediately after the exposure, but his doctor recommends against doing this. My husband also hates using the respirator and will rarely wear it.
My mother said that it's all right to leave right after our son plays his piece. I would feel like it would be very rude for us to do that. Isn't it proper etiquette to stay for all the children's pieces at a recital? If my husband's medical exception would somehow exempt him from that rule of etiquette, how should we indicate to others present why we have to leave before the other performances?
GENTLE READER: Long-term inflammation is as good an excuse as Miss Manners has heard for making a swift exit from a children's concert.
If your husband can safely leave on his own, allowing you to stay longer, that would be ideal. If not, tell the other parents that you are afraid you will have to exit right after Eli's piece, but you have a medical issue to which you have to attend. Presumably your parents can fill you in. Just do not be surprised if the other parents start stealing the excuse.
========
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026 Judith Martin
COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN
Comments