I Just Want My Shirts
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I went to a dry cleaner's, paid up-front for my items and was told they would be ready by 4 p.m. on Friday. So on Friday at 4 p.m., I went to pick up my dry cleaning.
The lady asked me if I had received a text. I said "no," but I could see my items and pointed them out to her. She said that I had to wait for a text, but I kept explaining that my items were right in front of her.
This dry cleaner is 30 minutes from my house, so I didn't want to come back. I insisted that my items were right there, and she finally gave them to me and I left.
Was I wrong to insist on picking up my items at that time? Should I have left and waited for the lady to text me? She was busy doing other things, but there were no other customers in the store at that time.
I will not go back, no matter what your position is. As I was leaving, another lady said I needed to have better manners, thus my inquiry.
GENTLE READER: Your logic is sound. But whether or not you used good manners in expressing it is not as clear. Actually, it is.
Even when justified, one still must be polite: "I'm sure you understand why it is not reasonable for me to leave and come back again when I am here at the prescribed time and I can see that my clothes are ready" is perfectly polite, if said in a measured tone of voice.
"I'm lookin' at them with my own darn eyes, you gobdaw ninny!" -- not so much.
Miss Manners is guessing that your response leaned toward the latter, and was therefore something less than mannerly. If it makes you feel better, this would be equally as rude as the lady who chimed in.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A very dear, lifelong friend received a life-changing inheritance. She then gave me her inherited luxury automobile.
I don't know how to stop saying "thank you." How do you graciously accept something so over-the-top and unexpected?
GENTLE READER: By telling her genuinely and enthusiastically. Once, maybe twice. Write a letter -- not only about the car, but also about what the friendship means to you.
And then stop. Miss Manners assures you that you do not want to make your friend regret her generosity by overdoing it and embarrassing her.
And who knows? Perhaps one day you may come into your own unexpected wealth -- and then you may return the favor by giving her a yacht.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How can you make friends as a single 75-year-old in suburbia? Church is not my thing. I do volunteer at a food bank, but once or twice a month is not enough to make friends. All suggestions welcome!
GENTLE READER: Sewing? Pickleball? Choir? Woodworking? Trivia night?
Taking a class gives participants a common goal and something to talk about afterwards. As long, Miss Manners warns, as any toxic competitiveness is weeded out early.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026 Judith Martin
COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN
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