Life Advice



Ask Amy: Tough talk has to start somewhere

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I have recently discovered — through DNA testing — that the man who raised me is not my biological father.

Actually, this isn't a great surprise, as I look nothing like my three siblings, and have always wondered why.

As many people have discovered, there were a lot of "extra-curricular" activities when men were deployed during WWII and women were home and this appears to be one of those instances.

My siblings and I are in our 70s, and my parents' generation are all gone.

The dilemma is whether — and how — to tell my siblings about this discovery.

While I am in favor of telling them, my wife wonders if I should.


And if I were to tell them, how should the topic be introduced?

– Wondering

Dear Wondering: Your wife is doing what loving spouses do by introducing a “what if” qualifier. Listen to her (and to me), and then make your own choice.

Here’s one way to start your conversation: “Hey, what’s up with all this DNA testing, amirite?”


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