Marriage at midlife is one long slog
Dear Amy: I'm a 42-year-old man who has been married to my wife for 14 years.
We started out fairly well, but over the years, more and more arguments emerged.
Now we have three young kids, and have devolved into the Odd Couple. She is a downright slob (really bad, even by her own admission) and I'm more of a normal clean-type.
I can't keep cleaning the house all by myself, and it gets so disgusting that I'm embarrassed by it.
We do have some great times, but I just feel like I love her as a friend and can't stand living with her.
I'm somewhat into staying fit and I work out to maintain a good look and heart health. She does not. She can't keep up with me even on a short hike. I fear that she'll die way before me or eventually become too heavy for me to find attractive.
The other day our oldest -- a 6-year-old girl -- told the story of our meeting and marriage at an extended family dinner. She concluded with: "...then they found out they didn't like each other. The End."
I know that if I announce divorce it would be devastating to her. She still loves me very much.
I feel that if I stay I won't be happy, and it's not healthy for the kids to hear us arguing, but I also feel that a "broken" home could be equally devastating.
-- Stay or Go?
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