After Separating Accounts, Dad Asks For Financial Help
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went to the bank with my dad to finally separate our accounts. He opened my account for me when I was in high school, and now that I'm a working professional, I felt it was time to have full independence. During the process, the teller shared details about my account balance in front of him, which made me uncomfortable. Ever since then, my dad has been making frequent comments about my money and even asking me for financial help. I don't mind supporting him occasionally, but it's starting to feel like an expectation rather than a choice. I value my relationship with my dad, but I also want to set some boundaries around my finances. How can I make it clear that my money is not up for discussion or regular requests? -- Bankroll
DEAR BANKROLL: Thank your father for getting you started with your finances, and then tell him you need him to respect your privacy. Explain that it makes you uncomfortable for him to constantly ask you about your money. You are living your life and learning how to take care of yourself, and that should be your business. Your job now is to stop talking about it. When he brings up finances, change the subject. Don't always say yes when he asks for money. Tell him you have a plan for the future and need to stay the course.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently began dating someone that I truly enjoy -- in person. We've gone on a few dates now and see each other about once a week, but between those occasions, we don't interact much. It feels a bit strange to me, if I'm being honest. While he is proactive about reaching out and setting up time for us to spend together and always lets me know that he's had a good time, I wish we could still be in touch when we're apart. I try texting, and he'll respond -- sometimes quickly, sometimes hours later but never much. I understand there are some people who don't care much for texting, but I wonder if this is something I can deal with in the long term. Am I kidding myself by dating a person who has a different attachment style than me? Should I follow my feelings and ask myself why I need to speak to him every day? -- Needy or Negligent
DEAR NEEDY OR NEGLIGENT: In the beginning of relationships, people are on their best behavior. If you don't like how this man is behaving now, do not expect him to improve over time -- that is, unless you are able to make it clear to him what you need and he comes to value that. The next time you two are together, talk to him. Without being too pushy, tell him what makes you happy in a relationship. Explain that you appreciate ongoing interaction even when you aren't together. Ask him what he likes. While you don't want to be demanding, you do want to get a sense of whether the way this man chooses to be in a relationship is something that can work for you.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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