Dad Needs To Make Better Health Choices
DEAR HARRIETTE: My father is a little larger and doesn't properly take care of himself, and I believe it's starting to affect his health. My family and I tried walking around New York City, and after 15 minutes, we had to stop at a park bench. He was panting, and I genuinely thought he might have been having a heart attack. He has high blood pressure, is prediabetic and drinks at least three Monster energy drinks a day. My mom and I have both tried telling my dad that we're worried about him and his health, and he brushes it off as a joke. His own mother has tried saying something, and he still refuses to make better life choices. Is there anything else we can do to help him realize he needs to make some health changes, or is that something he'll have to deal with alone? -- Concerned Child
DEAR CONCERNED CHILD: You have every reason to be worried while having no power over your father to make him change. You can appeal to his love for you. Be direct with him. Tell him you think he will die if he doesn't make some changes in his life. Point out the things that concern you. Remind him that you love him and need him to be healthy and present for years to come. Ask him if he will at least go to the doctor and get a physical. Basic diagnostic tests will give him information on the status of his health, after which he can make decisions about how to take care of himself.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently asked out to dinner by a guy, and I happily accepted. The evening was going amazingly until the bill came. To my surprise, he paid for his meal and drinks and asked the waiter to give me a separate bill. I was shocked, especially since he was the one who asked me out. Growing up, I was taught that if a man asks you out, he pays for your meal. I asked him if he was being serious, and he said yes. He told me it was unfair for me to expect someone to buy my meal without even knowing them. Am I insane? Am I going crazy expecting the guy who asked me out to pay for my meal at the restaurant he selected? -- Confused Date
DEAR CONFUSED DATE: You are not crazy. What's strange these days is that the old rules of dating have mostly gone out the window, but there are no clear new rules. Yes, it used to be customary that a man would invite a woman out for a date and pay for the meal. Currently, roles are unclear among heterosexual couples and surely in the LGBTQ+ world. So it's best to speak up about your expectations. Awkward? Perhaps, but clarity is refreshing.
Let me add that if someone invites you out to eat at a restaurant of their choice, it is common for the expectation to be that the one extending the invitation pays the bill. That's true even if you aren't on a date.
My recommendation is that in the future you ask whether the person doing the asking is going to pay. Also, always be prepared to pay for your meal. In terms of whether someone is date-worthy, that will depend on whether you share values. If you want a date who expects and wants to cover at least that first date, let that be known.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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