Cheap Friends Won't Stop Complaining About Prices
DEAR HARRIETTE: Two of my friends are extremely cheap, and it's getting to the point where it's hard to enjoy doing anything with them. We all live in New York City, and as you know, the cost of simply existing here is high. Yet they complain about every price tag, subway fare or coffee that costs more than $3, even splitting an Uber when it's pouring outside. The other night we went to a casual restaurant where the average entree was around $20, which, for NYC, is honestly pretty reasonable. They acted like the prices were outrageous and spent half the meal whispering about how "expensive" everything was. It was uncomfortable, and I felt guilty ordering what I wanted.
I understand wanting to save money, but their constant complaining makes any outing feel stressful and joyless. I end up feeling like the bad guy for wanting to do normal things that aren't dirt cheap. I've tried suggesting more affordable spots, but even then, they nitpick. It's starting to feel like I either have to limit what I do or limit my time with them. I really care about them, but I'm exhausted from always having to consider their financial grumbling. How do I bring this up without sounding insensitive or like I'm shaming them for budgeting? -- Too Cheap
DEAR TOO CHEAP: Could it be that your friends cannot afford to be in NYC? You all are living and working here. How different are your incomes? They could just be complainers -- or they may truly not be able to afford life in the city.
You may need to decide that you will do super affordable things when you spend time with them and expand your circle to explore pricier experiences with different people. What's great about NYC is how dynamic it is. You can find ways to explore your more-expensive interests with other people while remaining friends with these two, too.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I think I complain about my husband too much. I was just talking to my sister when he did something in the background that annoyed me, and I reacted. She then said she was amazed that I am still married to him, given that I have nothing good to say about him at all. I don't mean to talk about him badly, but he is not nice to me, and I'm fed up. At the same time, I cannot afford to leave him. We barely have enough money together to pay our bills, and we are close to retirement age. I don't know how I would survive if I left him now. Still, she got me thinking. What can I do differently so that I'm not constantly complaining? -- No Joy
DEAR NO JOY: Decide that you are going to be happy and that you are going to find a source of joy each day. Include him in that search for joy. What kind words can you offer him? What genuine compliment can you offer him? What expression of gratitude can you include him in? Be vigilant about choosing to recognize and nurture joy in your life. Catch yourself before complaints come spewing out of your mouth. Practice expressing gratitude, and watch to see if your relationship softens at all.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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