ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I frequently attend luncheons at which the entree consists of bagels, lox (smoked salmon) and cream cheese.

Bagels have grown in size substantially since my childhood. Nowadays, a whole bagel is too much for me, so I carefully take one half with the tongs provided. I spread it with cream cheese, then lay a slice or two of lox on top.

But no matter how carefully or slowly or seemingly thoroughly I bite into this open-faced sandwich, it is inevitable that the slice of lox slides off the top with my teeth embedded in it -- dangling there, despite the gluey nature of the cream cheese.

This is very unattractive. I came up with a solution that works for me: I hold the bagel in one hand and a fork in the other. I press down with the fork near where I take each bite, thus anchoring the slice of lox. Success! Am I horribly off base?

GENTLE READER: Well, the lox is staying on base, so we are halfway there.

You could also use a discreet finger to hold it in place, as long as you find a place to wash off any lingering fish smell afterwards.

A third option would be to take the lox off of the bagel and cut it on your plate -- preferably with a fish knife -- and then return it to the bagel, matching bite sizes with lox pieces.

But really, the fork method is acceptable, as long as you do it discreetly -- and, Miss Manners warns, as long as you promise not to turn your head too quickly, stabbing yourself in the cheek in the process.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I wonder if there is a proper way to greet people you never speak to, but see all the time, when you suddenly run into them in an entirely different setting.

I refer to them as the "SNOW" people: those you see regularly at work, school, the gym, church or around the neighborhood, with whom you always exchange a friendly Smile, Nod Or Wave.

Then one day, you see them at the supermarket. Your initial reaction is surprise (as if they don't exist outside the sphere you know them from), followed by joy and a desire to embrace them like a long-lost friend ... until you recover your senses and realize, with acute embarrassment, that you don't even know their first name!

It seems silly to say, "What are you doing here?" since the answer is obvious, but to ignore them seems equally rude. Do you exchange another friendly SNOW greeting and move on? Or does etiquette require actually speaking to them -- for perhaps the first time ever?

GENTLE READER: Another friendly SNOW. This necessitates, however, a third reaction in your repertoire, which is a somewhat deflated, but still polite, realization that you are only acquaintances. The person will likely mirror your reaction and be similarly content to move along.

But if you are ready to transition to a full-on greeting and name exchange, Miss Manners assures you that that is an option -- provided you are able to muster mutual consent from the other party.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2025 Judith Martin

COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN