ArcaMax

Dear Annie: I am 16 and met a girl while visiting relatives over summer break. We spent almost every day together, and I felt closer to her than I have ever felt to anyone. By the end of the summer, we both admitted that we had fallen in love.

The problem is that she lives on the opposite coast. Since coming home, we text constantly and talk on the phone whenever we can. We keep saying we will make it work, but school, sports, the time difference and our families make it hard. Neither of us can travel often, and we may not see each other again for months.

My friends say it was just a summer romance and that I should move on. But it did not feel temporary to me. I also do not want us to spend our entire teenage years waiting for visits that may not happen.

How do I know whether this relationship is worth holding onto or whether we should let each other go before the distance hurts even more? -- Lovesick on the Wrong Coast

Dear Lovesick: What you felt may be real, even if the summer was short. Stay in touch, but do not put your whole life on hold. Enjoy school, friends and everything happening around you. Keep an open mind, and you never know where life will take you. Focus on the good memories and you will get more of them.

Dear Annie: I have a 4-year-old German shepherd that is the sweetest dog inside our home. She is affectionate, loyal and gentle with our family. She follows me everywhere, curls up beside me in the evening and greets us like we have been gone for a week, even if we only stepped outside for a few minutes.

But the moment she sees another dog, she becomes almost unrecognizable. She barks, growls and lunges with so much force that I have trouble holding onto her leash. Sometimes she reacts before the other dog is even close. I now plan every walk around avoiding other people and their pets. I cross the street, hide behind parked cars and turn around whenever I spot a dog in the distance.

I have tried obedience classes, private trainers, special harnesses, different collars, treats and walking at quieter times. I have watched countless training videos and practiced with her for months. She may improve for a little while, but then the behavior returns. One day, she pulled me off balance and nearly reached a smaller dog. No one was hurt, but it terrified me.

My neighbors have started avoiding us, and I feel embarrassed and isolated. I no longer invite friends with dogs over, and I am afraid to have anyone else walk her. I love her deeply, and at home she is a wonderful companion. Still, I worry that love is not enough if I cannot keep other dogs and their owners safe.

How do I know whether I should keep trying to manage this behavior, or whether I am being irresponsible by keeping a dog I may not always be able to control? -- Torn Over My Shepherd

Dear Torn: Your dog sounds loving and devoted, but she clearly needs more specialized help outside the home. Look for an experienced trainer who works specifically with reactive or aggressive dogs, especially German shepherds.

With the right guidance, patience and consistent training, she may learn to feel safer around other dogs. Until then, choose quiet walking routes and keep a comfortable distance from her triggers.

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"Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness" is out now! Annie Lane's third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.