Life Advice

/

Health

The Many Meanings of Mother's Day

Annie Lane on

Dear Readers: Wishing all the mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day. Mother's Day can be beautiful, but it can also be complicated. For some, it means flowers on the table, handmade cards, little hands carrying breakfast to bed and adult children calling just to say, "Thank you." For others, it can stir up grief, disappointment, distance or memories of a relationship that was never as warm or easy as it should have been.

So this Mother's Day, let's widen the circle.

To the mothers who are celebrated, enjoy every card, every call, every hug and even the slightly wilted grocery-store bouquet. To the mothers who feel overlooked, please remember that much of what you gave was planted quietly in school drop-offs, bedtime stories, doctor's appointments, teenage arguments, packed lunches, clean laundry and all the invisible work no one claps for. Those seeds may bloom in ways you do not yet see.

To those missing their mothers, missing their children or grieving what they hoped motherhood would be, may the day leave room for both love and sorrow. Not every family story is simple, and not every Mother's Day fits neatly inside a greeting card.

And let us not forget the women who mother without a title: stepmothers, foster mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, teachers, neighbors and friends who give rides, remember birthdays, make room at the table, listen late at night and show up when showing up is hard. Some of the finest mothering in the world is done by women who never ask to be thanked.

Maya Angelou once said, "I sustain myself with the love of family." That is what mothers, at their best, build. Not perfection, but a place where love can sustain us, even after we have grown and gone into the world.

 

And to adult children: Call your mother if you can. Write the note. Say the words while she can still hear them. Tell her one specific thing you remember, the soup she made when you were sick, the ride she gave when she was tired, the way she believed in you before you believed in yourself. "I appreciate you" is a full bouquet, and it never goes out of style.

Motherhood is not a greeting card. It is sacrifice, worry, forgiveness, humor, endurance and love in work clothes. This Sunday, honor the women who showed up, imperfectly, faithfully and often without being thanked nearly enough.

A good mother does not need a parade. But a phone call never hurt anybody.

========

"Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness" is out now! Annie Lane's third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.


 

Comments

blog comments powered by Disqus

 

Related Channels

Amy Dickinson

Ask Amy

By Amy Dickinson
R. Eric Thomas

Asking Eric

By R. Eric Thomas
Abigail Van Buren

Dear Abby

By Abigail Van Buren
Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

Miss Manners

By Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin
Cassie McClure

My So-Called Millienial Life

By Cassie McClure
Harriette Cole

Sense & Sensitivity

By Harriette Cole
Susan Dietz

Single File

By Susan Dietz

Comics

Take It From The Tinkersons Arctic Circle Gary Markstein Ed Gamble Mike Du Jour One Big Happy