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Ask Anna: Understanding work crushes, keeping clothes on during sex and FWB gift etiquette

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Dear Anna,

I (35-year-old man) struck up a friendly rapport with a lady (unsure of her age, but probably late 20s or early 30s) who works in my building. We find time to converse during breaks and even hung out at a few group events (trivia night, anyone?). On a whim, I invited her to grab coffee with me yesterday afternoon. She agreed, ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Navigating exclusivity in dating

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

As a dating coach, I'm frequently asked questions about exclusivity in relationships — how to approach it, when to discuss it, and what to expect. I want to address two questions I got just today and offer some insights on how to handle these situations effectively.

Question 1: I’ve been seeing someone for two and a half months and found ...Read more

DREAMSTIME/TNS

The secret sauce of text convos: playful reciprocity

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Do you often find yourself stuck in an endless loop of lackluster text chains with potential matches?

It’s a common dating app woe, but thankfully, it’s one that you have the power to turn around to work in your favor. Whether you like texting or not, it’s an integral part of modern-day courtship. The sooner you accept that and engage ...Read more

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Ask Anna: Is it time to break up? Understanding unrequited love in relationships

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Dear Anna,

For the past four months, I've been seeing someone wonderful. They are kind, thoughtful and truly everything one could ask for in a partner. However, despite their undeniable goodness and the time we've spent together, I've come to the harsh realization that I'm not in love with them. I love them as a person, but not in the grand ...Read more

Tero Vesalainen/Dreamstime/TNS

Navigating political conversations in dating in an election year

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

We've all heard the advice, probably from our friends… or, more likely, grandparents: avoid controversial topics on a first date. While steering clear of discussing exes and past relationships is relatively straightforward (seriously, no ex-talk on a first date!), dodging politics feels nearly impossible, especially with the next presidential ...Read more

DREAMSTIME/TNS

Ghosting is ruthless. So why are we all doing it?

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LOS ANGELES -- Alexis Fischer was excited to jump back into the dating world after being single for two years.

The professional dancer-turned-entrepreneur took time to heal from her breakup with her ex-boyfriend of nearly four years. She also wanted to focus on building her business, the Move by Lexfish app, where she teaches virtual Pilates, ...Read more

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Ask Anna: Caught in the act? How to bounce back from awkward encounters with parents

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Dear Anna,

I've been dating my boyfriend for about six months now. He's at college in Ohio while I'm stuck in our small town in Iowa. We've been trying to make the long-distance thing work and keep the connection and, y'know, the spark. So last night, we were video chatting. With miles between us, things started to get a bit...well, heated, if ...Read more

Tero Vesalainen/Dreamstime/TNS

Why writing an accurate profile is better than creating an interesting one

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

As anyone who has tried it knows that online dating can have its fair share of challenges … and it all starts with writing your profile. And as someone who has read thousands of bios over the years, believe me when I say that many (very many) people are going about it incorrectly.

Sure, there are the common mistakes: lazy profiles that ...Read more

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How to help a friend after a devastating breakup? Your first instinct is wrong

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

LOS ANGELES — It's hard to know what to do or say when a loved one is in the throes of a devastating breakup. No matter what you try — talking about it, not talking about it, vilifying the ex, coming up with fun distractions — they remain consumed with grief. Is there a right way to ease the pain?

There is, according to experts. Although ...Read more

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Ask Anna: Crush or lust? How to decipher your feelings

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Dear Anna,

Lately, I've found myself questioning the nature of my attraction toward a new acquaintance of mine. He's charming, always has an interesting story to share, and I can't deny the physical attraction. However, I really can’t tell if this is the beginning of a short-term crush developing, or if I just need to get laid? It’s been a ...Read more

Dreamstime/Dreamstime/TNS

Ask Anna: Redefining the 'player': Classy, honest and empowered dating for women

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Dear Anna,

Do female players exist? If so, how do I become one? I want to keep it classy and maintain my integrity while I get out there and experience as much as I can. — Getting Action Makes Excitement Outwardly Novel

Dear GAMEON,

Of course female players exist! (As do players of all genders.) The reason you don’t hear about them as ...Read more

DREAMSTIME/TNS

Exclusivity vs. official: What's the difference?

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

I’ve received a lot of questions in the past six months—more than ever before—asking if there’s a difference between being exclusive with someone and the relationship being “official.” People are also asking, “How long should I wait after being exclusive before being ‘official’?”

The question usually comes from someone who ...Read more

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Addicted to swiping right? Lawsuit claims Tinder and Hinge are designed to get users hooked

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

If you’re swiping on dating apps for hours, you’re not alone — and a new lawsuit claims it’s by design.

Dating apps such as Tinder and Hinge are intentionally addictive, a class-action lawsuit filed in federal court in California on Valentine’s Day claims.

Hidden algorithms push users to stay on the apps and “gamify dating” — ...Read more

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Ask Anna: Navigating straight curiosity while in a queer relationship

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Dear Anna,

I'm seeking advice about my sexuality and relationship. I'm in a sapphic relationship and while I love my girlfriend deeply and envision a future with her, I can't shake this lingering curiosity about being with men — despite not actually wanting to act on it due to my commitment to my current relationship. As I've only been with ...Read more

Dreamstime/Dreamstime/TNS

Defining the relationship: More of a conversation than a specific milestone

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

You’ve swiped right, had the first dates and are now “together” with a person. Great! Or is it?

A client recently reached out to me and said, “I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month from Hinge. I’ve met his family already, mine know about him. We’ve met each other’s friends. When is it OK to define the relationship? Do I ...Read more

DREAMSTIME/TNS

Erika Ettin: Dating red flags: Signs to watch out for in potential partners

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

I’ll admit that the term “red flag” is overused today. People are classifying anything from someone’s taste in music (Broadway for me) to their obsession with their dog as a dreaded red flag. While those things might not align with what you’re looking for in a potential partner, are they truly red flags?

As a dating coach, I've seen ...Read more

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Ask Anna: Is dating outdated?

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Dear Anna,

Is there ever a point where dating doesn't feel futile? By dating, I'm referencing those initial few outings with someone new, not, like, as a stand-in for being in a committed relationship.

It seems like every couple I know of either dove headfirst into couplehood (monogamous or otherwise) practically from the moment they crossed ...Read more

TNS

Zoom intimacy and creative sexting: How COVID-19 has changed the way some people have sex

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

PHILADELPHIA -- When Juan's long-term relationship ended the same day Philadelphia announced its first COVID-19 case and started the citywide shutdown, he knew the isolation to come would be a challenge.

So Juan, 33, created profiles on a handful of dating apps, including Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and OkCupid.

"It was tough because it was the peak...Read more

Dreamstime/Dreamstime/TNS

The 'yours, mine and ours' school of budgeting

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

“You bought what? And it cost how much?”

Be honest: Have you ever been called out by your spouse for spending too much? Or maybe you’ve been the one to bristle at a fresh batch of shopping bags brought home by your better half?

Bankrate’s latest financial infidelity survey revealed that 30 percent of U.S. adults who are married or ...Read more

RJ Sangosti/THE DENVER POST/TNS

What happened to 'Menver'? Denver daters say finding love is getting harder

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

DENVER — Much to the chagrin of single Denverites, the city’s nationally-recognized nickname, “Menver” — an allusion to the number of available men, ready for relationships — hasn’t withstood the test of time.

One of the earliest mentions of the Menver phenomenon was a 2006 Westword column raving about the male surplus. That still...Read more