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Erika Ettin: When it's time for a break from the apps

Erika Ettin, Tribune News Service on

Published in Dating Advice

Whether it’s at work, in our personal lives, or even something as specific as going to the gym, we all experience burnout from time to time. Why would the world of online dating be an exception to the rule?

Finding a romantic relationship may feel like the top priority at times, but that is going to be a lot harder if you’re not in the right headspace — and dating is hard enough as it is. There are times when it’s best to log out of dating websites and delete dating apps from your phone temporarily so you have a chance to reset, reflect and recharge. Sometimes all you need is a few hours without constantly swiping to feel less overwhelmed, or sometimes you may need a month or two away from the dating maze.

Not sure if you’re experiencing dating fatigue? Keep reading to figure out if you need to step back from dating for a stint.

Your schedule is too packed

We all have weeks or months when our Google calendar is filled to the brim. Maybe it’s wedding season so you’re going to be traveling every other weekend to attend events, or maybe you have a huge project that is going to require working late for a bit. At these times, online dating can become a chore … one that is often swept (not swiped) to the side since it’s one of a million things on your plate.

When your schedule is getting too packed, it might be a good time for a break from dating. After all, if you can’t devote some time to it every day, you might miss out on messages or make a person think you’re not interested since you didn’t respond. When are you even going to be able to meet in person with such a busy schedule? Telling someone, “I can't meet for two months” or “I’ll see you in 2023” probably isn’t what the other person is hoping for.

Instead of causing confusion, just take a pause and focus on your other priorities. Bumble will be there when you get back.

You’re not motivated to date

If swiping has become monotonous, messaging has become boring, and going on first dates feels more like an obligation than something you’re excited to do, you’re not doing yourself any favors by forcing yourself to continue.

 

There are a ton of reasons for just feeling disappointed by the dating process, or maybe there’s no exact reason at all — you’re just not into it right now.

That’s OK.

Do the things that make you happy — read a book, go for a walk, or meet a friend for coffee. You’ll be surprised how rejuvenated about dating you will feel by just not thinking about it for a few days.

Dating has become a game

While getting a lot of matches, likes or messages can be a self-esteem booster, it’s not the goal of online dating. For most, the ultimate outcome of online dating is to delete your profile because you’ve found someone special. So when you find yourself bragging to friends about the hottie who swiped right on you, maybe it’s time to reassess what you’re looking for.

Breaks from online dating aren’t just a good idea for your mental well-being, but they might even be a necessary step in making your search for a partner successful. What fun are you going to be in a flirty conversation or on a date if your mind is in a million different places?

It’s likely that you’ll feel tempted to check your accounts and be flooded with thoughts like, “What if the match of my dreams just joined, and they’ll be gone by the time I’m ready?” Just resist those urges and put yourself first.

Although it’s certainly a juggling act, making sure that dating is a balanced part of your life will help you feel ready and excited when the right person comes along. That’s the ultimate goal.

©2022 Tribune Content Agency, LLC
 

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